Let's talk about how you can support yourself when you're actually in the conflict. Perhaps one of the most important things for the parentified child, the one who's learned to people please, is to have boundaries in place.

A parentified child knows more of a give than a take. They know how to offer their support more than they know how to receive support. So when you show up in a relationship with your partner, you might be doing a lot more than you should be doing and you don't even realize it.

Another way codependency shows up is by one person neglecting their own needs because remember they're so hyper focused on everyone else. They're so focused on keeping the peace, on making sure things are all stable around them, trying to create a sense of safety without so they feel safety within.

So like I mentioned before, messy is kind of the norm for what we're talking about here. Like you don't grow without a level of chaos, a level of difficulty, a level of pain. So it doesn't mean it's always that way and things don't transition, but you have to expect that. Even if it's just mistakes, like I mentioned before. So I feel like relationships have at times been more difficult and then at times been 10 times better.

Let's continue to talk about how we can change the dynamic of our relationships!

It’s helpful to remember that stuff is coming into our relationships that isn’t even about us and the other person, but about stuff from our pasts. We can learn to be ok even if the other person isn’t. Our joy doesn’t have to depend on their joy.

Do you struggle within your relationship? Do you wish your relationships could be easier, happier, with more emotional connection? Take a listen and learn how to change the dynamic of your relationships!

The healing journey infiltrates all areas of life and that includes what happens in the bedroom (or wherever you have sex!) Continue on your healing journey in the middle of sexual intercourse. In today’s episode I’m going to talk from my own story and end by sharing practical ways you can begin to restore feelings of safety within yourself during sex.

When defensive we feel as if we need to protect ourselves from a threat. When we feel misunderstood, judged, unheard, unloved it easily make us feel unsafe and on the defensive. As much as possible, during the conversation as you recognize that you're feeling the need to protect yourself, pause and remind yourself you are safe. Do your best to not interrupt as the other person is speaking.

The more I heal, the less codependent I live. Healing comes by learning and practicing. We must practice to learn. For anything to become second nature we must do it many times. Intentional living is required for change!

We're back with part II of the conversation I got to have with my favorite guest - my husband! If you didn't catch part I you'll want to take a listen to that as well. Listen to our honest, open dialogue about how it's been doing life as 2 people who came into the relationship with plenty of unresolved trauma. I still call the messiness beautiful!

I have my favorite guest on today's episode, my husband! We talk openly about our relationship and how it is that we're still loving life together after 9 years of marriage and lots of challenges along the way.

So much could be said on building depth and connection! I touch on what people pleasers and freeze types may need in order to feel safe enough to grow connection with you.

In this episode I talk about some ways that may create safety within relationships, especially if someone's tendency is to fight back or run off!

It’s great to love and support friends and family along the way, but it’s ultimately their responsibility to get themselves to the place they need to be. You shouldn’t be fighting for someone’s inner wellness or their happiness more than they are!