Body Shaming and How to Stop

[Intro] Hello and welcome to my podcast, Empowered to Thrive. I'm your host, Corinne Powell. I'm an intuitive guide and I absolutely love helping people to heal from within so that they can create a life that they love, a life that they enjoy.

We weren't meant to just tolerate and get through life. We were meant to thrive and enjoy the life we're living. Of course, we will have seasons and moments that are difficult and challenging.

And the beauty of it is that we can be supported in those moments. I am here to be an aid and a guide to support you. And I hope that you will enjoy not only today's episode, but some of the past episodes if you haven't heard them yet.

On this podcast, I talk about all things inner wellness. We also sprinkle in some spirituality and parenting because as a mom to three kids, parenting is a big part of my life. I hope that you enjoy the episode and that there's at least one thing you'll pull from it and start to implement into your own life.

If you want to follow me in other ways, you can find me on Instagram, @corinne_changeradically⁠, or on Facebook, Change Radically. Would you do me a favor and share this podcast with your friends if you hear an episode that resonates with you? And would you also go ahead and give me a rating and review my podcast? It would mean so much to me and I would appreciate it. I hope that you enjoy the episode and that we connect.

–

Well, hello friends. It's good to be with you. Here I am recording again because I recorded the entire episode while it was on mute. What do you know?

I am expecting it's going to be better for you this time than the last. I'm here to talk about body shame, body love, and how to get from a place of hating that image that you see, that reflection you see in the mirror, to getting to the place where you recognize that it's not all perfect, but you love yourself for where you are. You love your body for what it's carried you through.

And let me begin by saying that healing happens gradually over time. It wasn't in a day that I learned to love myself and my body. It won't happen in a day for you.

But over time, you can find love for yourself. And perhaps you're someone who looks at yourself in the mirror and really likes what they see. Not because you're at the perfect weight, not because you're toned up and have all the muscles that you wish, but simply because you really, really have come to love who you are.

You've come to appreciate yourself. If that's you, I am thrilled. That is my goal for you.

But if you are like many of us who aren't there, then this episode is for you. Keep listening even if you already love yourself. But this is really, really a support to those of you who look in the mirror and you just always see the flaws.

You always see the extra places that have more pounds than you wish, or you see your legs that are too thin, or you see that you're not someone who's built in the way you wish. And I'm here to tell you that you are beautiful. You are perfect just as you are.

That doesn't mean that you don't have anything about you that could be changed. It doesn't mean that. It means that you came into the world in perfection.

And your weight is not going to change that. Your BMI is not going to change that. What you do and what you've been through and what your diet is like is not going to change that.

But you are beautiful. You are perfect. And it's in this moment that I say that because your body needs to hear that. Your body has carried you through so very much. I don't know the traumas you've been through. I don't know the difficulties.

But I know that we've each walked out a lot of life and we've experienced hardships. We've experienced difficulties and challenges and traumas. And so with that in mind, I want to help you know how you can begin to love yourself.

And I'd like to share a little bit about my own story. And just to give you hope, to give you hope knowing that I was in a place where I hated my body. I hated the image I saw and the reflection I saw in the mirror.

I never got to a weight that was low enough that I felt like I was okay there. And I was restricting myself when I would eat. I had very negative self-talk.

And I just wasn't kind to myself. But I was taught to be ashamed of my body. I learned that I should hide it. And I was conditioned to believe that I was responsible for unwanted sexual advances that were made towards me. 

Friend, I want you to know that if something has happened to you, something you didn't want to happen to you, maybe you have been sexually traumatized, it's not your fault. Even if you feel like you played a part in it, here's what I want to say about that. You are not responsible for someone else's actions. No matter what you do that may affect them, only they determine what they will do and how they'll respond to you. 

And so it's important to know that our bodies weren't meant to be hidden. And I understand culturally we learn to dress a certain way or live a certain way, but then there's an extreme to it all. And really people in themselves need to be responsible for what they do, what they think, how they interact with people. 

And so to any of you that grew up in a religious community like I did, I can sit here and guess that it played a part in the way that you see your body, the way you see yourself.

I can't say that for sure, but I know for me it played a big role in helping to form the beliefs that I carried. It skewed my perspective and put more responsibility on me that wasn't mine to carry. Another piece of my story is that I was sexually traumatized when I was just a kid.

Several men used their strength for their own selfish gain and I became very afraid of men. I did not want any attention from them, even to be talked to, because I was afraid. I was afraid of what that would mean. I felt helpless and powerless. I was afraid of what they would do. I did not feel safe within my body.

And one of our deepest needs is to feel safe, to know that help is close by, to know that we are not alone. And when you do not feel safe within your own body, you will strive, you will do whatever to just get to that safe feeling. And sometimes that happens when we're children.

If we don't experience parent figures who help us regulate our emotions, if we don't experience relationships that are very safe where we can show up no matter what big emotions we have, no matter how we're doing, no matter how we look, and if we aren't accepted, we learn that it's not a safe place unless we perform, unless we are a certain way. 

And most of this is unconscious. We don't realize what we're absorbing, what mindsets we start to carry, what beliefs we have, but the more you become self-aware and the more mindful you are as to why you do what you do, you'll learn that, wow, man, a lot of this started when I was just a kid.

If you're like me and you've been a people pleaser and a codependent, then it easily is something that happened when you were very young. If you had a parent figure who had explosive big emotions, was often depressed, didn't know how to help you to feel safe and feel happy, you were the one trying to help them to feel comfortable, then you learned that if I can help them be okay, then I can be okay. Because any kid just wants to feel safe, and if they don't feel safe around their parent, they're going to do whatever they can to feel safe.

Some of us explode and get angry. Some of us run away. Some of us fight back. Some of us start people pleasing and fawning and doing whatever we need to make everyone else happy. But at the root of all of these coping mechanisms is a need to feel safe. And so in this, we need to learn that we are safe within our own body.

We will not learn that until we start to accept ourself and have compassion on ourself. So when you look at your reflection in the mirror, I'd encourage you to start to speak and think kind things towards that body that you see, towards that reflection of you. Your body has carried you through a lot.

It has been good to you. It's not your body's fault if it's breaking down. What are you putting into it? What stress is it carrying? There is so much that affects our body, and it's so easy for us to blame it and for us to hate it.

But it's time that we change that narrative. It's time that we start to love ourselves. And again, you know, I'm starting to talk more about the religious element to my life and the ways that I've come out of religion.

Even though I'm still connected with the higher source, even though I'm still a very spiritual person, the religion side of it, the rules, the regulations, the black and white thinking, the my way is better and higher than your way, I have let that go. And in that, I want to say that there is this idea within religion that it's wrong, that it's immoral to look at yourself and to think, who I am is good, to love yourself, to think you're beautiful, to think you're amazing. And I disagree.

I think you were made really good. And for you to accept that is accepting the truth, the reality. For you to look at yourself and dehumanize and belittle yourself, I don't see that as loving and as a loving creator would want you to even have to see yourself.

Think about a parent with their child. Most parents, when they look at their baby, think their babies look perfect. Maybe some parents don't, but the majority of them do.

I don't think that who made you would want you to look at yourself and say, I'm ugly, I'm not made well. And so for those of you that believe in a creator and struggle with the idea that it's okay to look at yourself and say, oh, who I am is good, I'm really beautiful, I was made well, I'm just asking you to explore, why is that? Let's talk more about why that struggle is there. So I know for me, I've just had to let go of the religious mindsets and viewpoints that I was conditioned to believe.

And I've come to accept that I can love myself. I can like myself. I can have compassion on myself. And that is all beautiful and fine and really actually good for my well-being. It's in fact extremely toxic to hate ourselves and to see all the flaws constantly. 

And so going back to my story, I have been able to become unafraid of men for the most part, and it's been a liberating experience to heal.

I feel empowered now and protected because I feel safe within my own body. I don't feel like the helpless young child that I once was. Now she knows that help is close by.

And I have become the wise, loving adult who helped her heal. Yes, I had other supports, I've had other people helping me along the way, but without each one of us actively being a participant in our own healing, we will not heal fully. No one else can help us fully heal.

No one else can help us get where we want to go. We have to actively participate. We all have an inner child who needs reparenting, and I'm happy to tell you that you are able to offer that healing to yourself.

It's expedited when you have support, and sessions are always available with me, or there are other lots of wonderful supports that can help. But it's worth it. It's worth looking deep within, because you're already sitting in discomfort.

You're already sitting within body shame and maybe some hatred for yourself. And the place that you can come to where, yeah, it might be a bit uncomfortable to get to the place of healing, but it's uncomfortable living the way you're living right now, isn't it? I know it was for me. I know it is for many of the individuals I work with.

And so it is a beautiful, liberating place to be in, where you are not denying or dismissing or minimizing where you still want to get, but you're having compassion for where you are, and you're embracing yourself where you are. 

So you may still want to exercise and eat clean, and live a lifestyle of health, but you can have compassion for yourself in the moments where you don't quite measure up, where you don't meet the bar, where you say, you know what, that choice I made, I wish I had made a different choice. I'm going to make a different choice next time. Instead of shaming yourself and beating yourself up, you say, I know, I'm in process. It's okay to make mistakes. Catch the compassion in that.

It's a very different way of living than being the critic and belittling yourself. So I hope that what I've shared today has been helpful. We're scratching the surface.

But if you want to go deeper with me on topics like this, schedule a session. And as always, you can email me and share your thoughts with me, your feedback, ask your questions, or just share your own story with me. I'd love to hear it.

You can reach me at corinne, C-O-R-I-N-N-E, at changeradically.com. 

—

[Ending] We've come to the end. What did you think about what you heard? I hope that there's something you pull from today's episode and start implementing it into your life. Create the change that you want to see, the change that you hear about.

You have the opportunity to transform your life. And I'm ready to link arms with you and to help and guide you to the life that you want to live. If you resonated with what you heard today and it touched you, would you share it with your friends? Would you also go ahead and rate my podcast and write a written review? It would mean so much to me.

I hope that we'll connect, whether it's for a session or just to connect because I enjoy meeting new people. You can find me on Instagram, ⁠@corinne_changeradically⁠, or on Facebook, ⁠Change Radically. You can also always email me, corinne@changeradically.com. If you have thoughts, questions, or anything that you just want to talk about, send me an email.

I hope that you have a wonderful week, but no matter what your week is like, in the moments that are quiet, maybe it's when you pillow your head at night or when you're driving in the car or taking a walk, or maybe it's going to be in the midst of the chaos with your children or the craziness of work, I hope that you'll remember how significant you are, that there is meaning and value to your life. And that I, for one, am so glad that you're alive. 

Catch you again next week.