Mindful Eating Part II with Michelle Beckner

[Intro] Hello, welcome to my podcast Empowered to Thrive. I'm so glad you joined me today. I'm your host Corinne Powell I'm an intuitive mentor and I help people pleasers to find happiness embrace courage and experience peace of mind. But say you're not a people pleaser and you're desperate for change and not sure how to make it happen, then I'm here to help.

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Corinne Powell: This is the second part of a two-part conversation. You're gonna benefit if you listen to today's episode, even if you haven't heard last week's but if you want to catch the fullness of what we were talking about, then you'll definitely want to go back in here last week's episode and then come and listen to today's. Enjoy. 

Michelle Beckner: All right so let's talk about like some symptoms because maybe you're listening and you're like you have a little one and you're like, oh I feel like they're a little bit more uncomfortable than a normal baby or maybe it's you and like you feel like maybe you get a little bit more uncomfortable after you eat dairy or something. So like what are the symptoms of some sort of food sensitivity? 

Or I say food sensitivity is kind of a - I use that as a broad term, but there there are slight differences between like an allergy like a true allergy a sensitivity and an intolerance the main difference is an allergy an allergy is an immediate reaction and you can test for it a sensitivity or intolerance is a delayed reaction. 

But the I won't go in all the details, but the main thing I just want to say I'm saying sensitivity is like a broad term like any sort of reaction to a food. Okay? So aside from allergies were you know, like the scary immediate reactions where like if you were your little one have an allergy you probably know that right? Like you had hives or hopefully not like anaphylactic or like any kind of those scary things. 

You would know about that but other sort of symptoms you can look for I kind of think about them on like a tiered level. So if it's just like general discomfort especially in your baby If you feel like they're just you know it's just doesn't feel normal like how much they're crying or they seem really gassy like after eating or like before going and before like pooping or whatever if they seem really more uncomfortable then you you feel like they should be and even if it's your first baby, you're like, well, I don't know Like you do know, you know because you're their mom and even if you don't feel like it you have that mother's intuition.

So just get quiet with yourself and just think like, okay does this seem like a normal baby behavior or is it a little a little more than that? Right? So and then there's you know, we get to the like colic where doctors will diagnose your baby with colic and be like “There's nothing you can do”. Well, maybe sometimes there is.

So the first kind of level of these symptoms would just be kind of like general discomfort like if it's a baby then colicky or gassy, things like that. So that's where it could be a food sensitivity but again, we don't want to go straight to food. We don't want to make it the enemy. So I always like to for breastfeeding moms have them see a lactation consultant make sure everything's good with that like kind of rule out like the other obvious type things before like - before diving into a diet change unless you're like, I'm cool. I'm gonna try it like whatever. I'm fine. 

But a lot of times as a nursing mom, it's like the last thing you want to worry about, right? So when it's like those kind of not super obvious symptoms, but just kind of general discomfort symptoms, it could be food, but like I always like to rule out some other stuff first. Kind of the next level would be skin issues. Like eczema is super super common. I see a lot of babies with eczema or just skin issues, a lot of babies with like red cheeks or like red around the mouth after they eat any sort of like skin issues.

Food is likely to play a role in it. But a lot of times then there's something deeper going on in the gut, so again, this is where food is so powerful where removing something like simply removing something like dairy or eggs or whatever seems right for you can help and sometimes it's all it takes. But a lot of times it takes more like adding in foods that are super healing and healthy or maybe adding in like supplements or reducing stress can be huge for skin issues just reducing stress and like your baby can feel your energy and your baby gets your stress hormones if you're stressed.

So a lot of times moms will be like, yeah, my baby's having a flare but like and I'm stressed but what does that have to do with my baby? It's got everything to do with your baby. Your baby can't talk. So your baby senses your energy right and absorbs that energy. So stress around the environment is gonna stress out your baby. So anyway, I'm going on a tangent there but skin issues food again can be a piece of it, but it's usually not the only thing.

Let's feel empowered by this because there's so many things that we can do to help heal whether it's you with a skin issue or your baby. And then the last sort of tier of symptoms would be like GI issues, bloody poops or like mucusy poops things like that. That's when we know there's definitely some sort of food issue going on. There's inflammation in the gut. So we certainly want to eliminate whatever food is causing that.

But then again like not just eliminate food after food, like say you eliminate dairy maybe it gets a little bit better, but not all the way. So then you eliminate another food and then another food before you know it you've eliminated like everything and your baby still isn't better. It's like I always ask well, what have you added in to your diet, right? 

Like what have you done other than just eliminating things and stressing yourself out more? What have you added in to help heal too? So it's a lot of just balancing out like okay, what's helpful to remove but also what else can we do? Can we see a lactation consultant? Can we work on reducing stress? Can we work on reducing toxins in our environment? Can we work on adding in some nice anti-inflammatory foods, right? So there's a lot that can go that can like play into these these symptoms. 

But if you or your baby are experiencing any of them hopefully that's at least gives you like a little bit of a place to start and it's quite interesting because you know it's especially like the whole 30 diet or there's you know a lot of different elimination diets out there which I feel like people do them a lot of times to lose weight or like as a detox or a reset or something.

But the whole idea about these elimination type diets is not to like yeah I mean they probably will help you feel better and maybe help you lose weight and all that kind of stuff but then at the end of like for example the whole 30th those the end of those 30 days you want to start adding those foods back in and notice how they make you feel, right?

So and a lot of people forget about that. So it's again what happens when we bring foods in right? How does that how does that make us feel? We don't want to just eliminate all these foods from our diet and drive ourselves crazy a lot of times make things worse right? So we need to pay attention to what we are feeding ourselves more even than what we're not feeding ourselves and our little ones. 

Corinne Powell: Yes. Yeah, definitely becoming mindful and aware and in touch with our bodies and touch with ourselves. It's so important and without the intention, it won't happen. I mean unless it was cultivated already in home life, you know it's not gonna happen.

Michelle Beckner: Right, and hopefully all the moms that I work with it gets cultivated in their home life for their little ones, right? That's one of my big hopes. It's like on the surface I'm helping your baby feel better But really the big picture is I'm helping your baby grow up with to be a natural-born intuitive eater, right? Yeah, and teaching mom how to be an intuitive eater and so together they can talk about how food makes their bodies feel like that's the big picture there, right? 

Corinne Powell: Yes I know it's funny because it was funny to me at least because the other day my son said something about oh, I'm not hungry yet. I don't eat until I until I'm hungry like until I want to eat I was like, “oh, okay”. Which is amazing, is not how it is for all my kids but it is for him and it was good to know that because there will be times he like declines eating but I didn't realize it was because like he's like, yeah, my body doesn't want it right now or whatever so yeah, I've had to come to that place because I realized a few years ago oh I'm going for the ice cream in the middle of the day because I'm feeling stressed because of the chaos with my kids and I'm turning this yummy treat that I think it's gonna bring me some comfort and gonna make me feel like even though my life is going nuts you're something that's good, right? 

Yeah But it was it was actually like through that type of experience that I realized oh I'd be able to become aware and mindful when I'm opening the freezer. Wait, why am I here right now? Do I want this in this moment? Or is there another way I can help myself decompress and get back into my body and feel safe enough that I have to turn to this for comfort you know? 

Michelle Beckner: Exactly and even sometimes like having that thought is great but sometimes like verbalizing it like if your kids next to you say it out loud right? And then they start to notice and then they do the things like your son did where it's like “Oh my body's not telling me I'm not hungry” or like sometimes my son will be like “my body's telling me that I need candy right now”. Let’s think about that again.

But you know like just getting them used to the idea of listening to their body and respecting their body, right? Like they're maybe not always gonna be like saying the truth of what their body's telling them, but it's so like back to my point is like as a mom like as you're thinking through that it's so powerful. So if your kids with you verbalize it and then they're like, yeah. Then they don't even realize what they're picking up until you hear them say something like well I'm not gonna eat cuz I'm not hungry, you know, right? 

Corinne Powell: Yes, one my one of my girls tends to like the junk food and the sweets and as much as I like try to curate a different type of diet you know, that's her preference and there will be times where she's sneaking something and very much just emotional eating right we can all identify with that. 

And so I've tried to encourage her to let me know like “Do you feel like you need something sweet right now? Because mommy can give you a hug. Mommy wants to know when you are feeling like you need something to help you feel better, to calm down” and even just those times where she just needs attention and so I'm trying to cultivate for her like let me know what you need because maybe it's that we can have a snack but maybe a hugs gonna make you feel better you're gonna have what you need in that moment, and you're not going to need the sweet treat or the yummy snack, thats her go to.

Michelle Beckner: That's right 

Corinne Powell: So it is really important like you're saying to just be talking with our kids about all of these topics and cultivating a different way of living for them because I know for sure like that is not what I came out of I mean there was a lot there was a lot of knowledge around foods and what was perceived to be good for us or not? So I feel like I was educated in that regard but just the mindfulness around what I'm eating and why, has been something I think I've had to learn so we're giving a step up in that in that area for sure. 

Michelle Beckner: Yeah, and I mean you're not alone, right? I mean, there's so much That's I hate using the word like healthy food because it's like what is healthy, you know. Like and labeling food is not healthy or healthy It's like I like using the word nourishing because that's like if it's nourishing our body or not but even going more than that like changing the conversation with our kids about like What makes our bodies feel good and what makes it not feel good, right? 

And if you want to eat a bunch of candy or potato chips or something then go for it But sometimes I'll be like when I eat that much I just don't feel good, you know and then it's I mean, it's not always gonna be perfect right, but it's at least like having that conversation going where they're so they're not like blocking their feelings or you know using food to overcome their feelings and giving them those options like well, maybe let's go outside for a walk, maybe you just need a hug right and then if they're like, “no, I just want to eat this” and okay, you know, that's okay It might not make you feel good or like however you want to talk about it.  But also not again not making food the enemy right, 

Corinne Powell: Right, yes and letting it be an open conversation. Because if my like thinking of one of my kids right if she needs to hide when she's eating certain things and she's gonna cultivate this idea that shame should be a part of it. Then I don't I don't want that to continue for her I want her to know that no matter what she's choosing to eat. She can do it openly and we don't need to have shame around certain foods or even certain behaviors. 

I just, I don't ever want to empower that shame.

Michelle Beckner: and like I said, like it's not always gonna be perfect, you know Sometimes they'll make what in your mind feels like the wrong choice. But that's okay right and letting them know like they they can make these choices and though kids are smart like though they'll realize after the fact if it wasn't a good choice or not for them, right? So rather than whether it's food or anything like rather than like you're saying putting shame around the choices or the things they want to do.

You know having the conversation open so they're aware of what they're doing, but sometimes just letting them you know indulge or do what they need to do and then they're like, “oh, yeah mom was probably right”. Like that was probably not the best choice.

Corinne Powell: Yeah, right. Yeah, and I recognize that I don't know it all, and I'm ever-evolving. So I put a lot of weight on that because it would be easy for me to get into that mindset that well I'm the parent so I know better and I recognize no, I don't know about everything. I you know, I don't know what's always going to be best for them. 

I'm gonna try to help steer them in the way that I think is best because I'm trying to love them well. But I know that I don't know it all right, 

Michelle Beckner: Yeah and yeah for certain as a parent it's hard to recognize that you don't know everything that's right for your kid because you want to know everything that's right for your kid at all times. But yeah, you don't and that's okay. 

Corinne Powell: All right. Well, where can all of the listeners find you and connect with you? 

Michelle Beckner: Yeah, so I'm kind of a newbie on Instagram, but since you mentioned Instagram you can find me there at MLB family wellness I always like Corinne mentioned I like to post what my toddler is eating for lunch or we live up in the mountains, so if you'd like to see how much snow we get I always give updates on how much snow we have even in may there's still snow on the ground. 

So you can find me on Instagram. If you do if you are breastfeeding mom who has a baby with food sensitivities or if you think your baby might have food sensitivities, the best place to go is I have a free Facebook group called “dairy free best breastfeeding surviving and thriving”. So you can just search that on Facebook and there's like thousands and thousands of super supportive amazing moms in there and then a lot of free resources in there and everything so that's another great place to find me or just head to my website mlbfamilywellness.com 

Corinne Powell: All right, super, and I'll have all those details in the show notes as well. So thanks for coming on Michelle really I appreciate.

Michelle Beckner: Thank you. Yeah, I had such a good time talking to you Corinne. Thank you 

[Ending] Here we are we've made it to the end. What'd you think about what you heard today? Is there something you heard that you know, you need to take action on? I'm one of those people who loves to not just sit and hear something but to sit in here and then go ahead and start implementing taking action on what I hear, what was stirred up in me and I encourage you to do the same.

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Until we speak again next week. I hope that you will remember in the moments that are loud and busy and in the moments that are quiet and Still that who you are is super important. You are valuable and I am so glad that you're alive