Mindful Eating Part I with Michelle Beckner

[Intro] Hello, welcome to my podcast Empowered to Thrive. I'm so glad you joined me today. I'm your host Corinne Powell. I'm an intuitive mentor and I help people pleasers to find happiness, embrace courage and experience peace of mind. But say you're not a people pleaser and you're desperate for change and not sure how to make it happen? 

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I'm super excited for you to get to hear a two-part conversation that I had with Michelle Beckner. Michelle is a certified transformational nutrition coach. She has three babies that she has breastfed who each had food sensitivities. Michelle lives in the Rocky Mountains where she loves to explore the woods, cook and drink all the tea.

She has helped hundreds of moms and babies survive and thrive on elimination diets while resolving symptoms such as eczema GI issues and reflux. I really believe that you are going to hear something in this conversation that Michelle and I had together that's going to empower you, that is going to awaken you to something that you need to hear. So don't worry if you don't have a little one or you don't have particular food sensitivities.  We talked about much more than just that. Enjoy the conversation. 

Michelle Beckner: Thanks, Corinne. Me too. Yeah, I'm excited to chat with you. It's kind of nice to chat with with different people about like different aspects of what I do because you know I work very specifically with breastfeeding moms who have babies with food sensitivities. But the stuff that I talk about I mean can be helpful for anybody, right? 

So anybody can have symptoms from certain food like food sensitivities or anything like that. Anybody can have like a troubled relationship with food, right? So everybody needs work on kind of shifting their mindset from where food can actually be helpful to us and not hurting us even though it feels like it's hurting us or our babies, right?

And then also how you know food isn't the enemy and we need to stop blaming food for when we're feeling bad. Yeah, it's important and it can make us feel bad, but it can also make us feel good. And there's also so much other stuff that's part of life, right that that we need to keep in mind, too. So even though like I said that the things I talked about I talk very specifically to breastfeeding moms I think it'll be nice to kind of talk about it in the sense of like a broader audience, too.

Corinne Powell: Mm-hmm. Yeah, and you're the little bit I see on Instagram. You're always like showing us what you're making or what your family's eating through the day. So because I think from seeing things like that it also gives me an idea of whenever I see how somebody does their life or how they eat and the foods they consume it helps to open up.  What I think about even as like possibilities for food yeah, 

Michelle Beckner: One thing it can just be inspiring to see like even if you do cook a lot at home and you feel like you eat very healthy and you're and you like you feel good about what you eat, sometimes it's inspiring to see what other people are doing too like, it can give you some ideas of things to do. 

I just like to share what we're eating a lot because you know, I'm busy just like all of us right? Like we're all busy in different ways. Like I run a business, I'm home with three kids. That's like what keeps me busy but you know, we all have our own things that keep us busy but I can still you know, prepare help prepare healthy foods for my family like all day, right and you know. We're not perfect and that's why I like to share it too but I like to just kind of show that like it's - especially if you're not someone who really likes to cook or isn't used to cooking or preparing food and things like that I like to show how it can be easy.

And like we just can you know, as long as you have like variety of fresh produce in your house and things like that you can throw stuff together and make delicious meals and the kids will like it and it's it doesn't need to be as complicated as some sometimes it can it can feel right? 

Corinne Powell: Yeah, that's good That's refreshing 

Michelle Beckner: Mm-hmm Yeah, I think I think one problem a lot in like the food diet nutrition coach sort of industry is, it can become so complicated like if you think too much about nutrition it can get so complicated. It's like, okay. We need to eat, just yesterday I was talking I did a live stream about calcium because a lot of the moms I work with don't eat dairy, right? So we're talking about how to get calcium without dairy and it's like I've put out some of the numbers like this is the recommended daily allowance of calcium and blah blah blah. 

It's like but we don't don't worry about like don't let this stuff stress you out like don't stress out about like I need to eat this many calories, I need to have this much calcium or I can only have this much fat or sugar or whatever. Like just eat a variety of real whole foods with a lot of color and you're fine. You don't need to worry about all this stuff and it can get so complicated so easily and that's not what I want because we're busy, especially moms like you're stressed about every little thing.

You don't have room to stress about food, right? You just have to make it easy but make it so it makes you and your little ones feel good, right? 

Corinne Powell: Yeah plus if we're putting all that stress on our bodies as we're considering if we're eating right and if we've done it right that day that's counterproductive 

Michelle Beckner: Mm-hmm, for sure. Yeah, yeah, and that's a lot like a lot of times when I work with moms there they're surprised about how much we talk about like stress and reducing stress and doing things like outside of just eating like great just doing things to help you feel good. They're surprised about how much that like that's involved in what I do and also surprised about how helpful it is. Because they're just like “tell me what to eat I just want to know what to eat what I can eat what I can't eat”. It's like hold on guys! It's like let's feel good about ourselves first, right? And let's feel good about what we're doing and not make it just like another thing on our to-do list 

Like to do: take care of myself. To do: take care of baby. To do: cook food. Like it's not our to-do list, it's our life, right? So let's find a way to make it like a sustainable life for us that we enjoy and it's not hurting our babies or it's not hurting us if we have food sensitivities.  It's just finding that balance that makes you feel good. 

Corinne Powell: What's one of the biggest areas like the biggest questions or complaints that's brought up to you when it comes to like food and how it's affecting our body?

Michelle Beckner: Yeah, so a lot of times people will come to me because and like I said like I talked specifically about babies with food sensitivities. But it can be the same thing like if it's you or someone you know, that's like experience it's the same stuff. 

But a lot of the moms that come to me think they can't eat anything, their babies are reacting to everything so they eliminate like almost every food from their diet just to help their baby feel better. Which like yeah, we will do anything to help our babies, right? But then it gets to the point where they're not eating enough. They're stressing not just because they don't know what to eat and they can't eat enough to feed themselves let alone if they're breastfeeding to nourish their baby. 

But then they're also stressing about like every little bad night, which all babies have. Babies aren't perfect or like every diaper or every little spit up or so on top of stressing about food then they're they're like overthinking a lot of the symptoms that that their babies are experiencing and then so they come to me like I can't eat anything like what do I do? 

So a lot of the times the the moms that I work with their biggest complaint is like I'm eating five things and it's not helping. It's like well, of course, it's not helping you're only eating five things and you're stressed out right and on top of that you have an uncomfortable baby. 

So we really really need to get to the root cause of like what is the root of your baby symptoms for real and which of these symptoms are our baby symptoms and like just normal baby stuff and which of these are like things that we can actually help right? Make the baby feel more comfortable. So then we'll work through, so when the moms come to me like that where they've eliminated so many foods first thing we do is working on adding back in as many foods as possible and then kind of start from there and that's like the the practical thing that we do right? 

Like okay here are some foods that we can start adding back in and then on top of that we we start working on shifting our mindset. Food is not the enemy, that's what I say all the time. We need to stop blaming food. Food is not the enemy if baby had a bad night or a funky rash or if you're like had you know If you're just not feeling good or whatever.

It's people like so easily and I do the same thing even my third baby like if she had a bad night I'm like, what did I eat right? But we need to take a step back and change that mindset to not always be blaming food and making it to the enemy and thinking through like okay. What are all the options here? What is…am I stressed out right now? Are we moving like is there some other I mean everyone's stressed right now, especially right like there's big stuff going on that's hard.

So we need to acknowledge everything else that's going on in our life and use food to like work with food instead of having food work against us 

Corinne Powell: When you said food is not the enemy like I felt that resonate. That is so important for all of us to hear, food is not the enemy. Because it is easy to come to that conclusion even unconsciously like I wouldn't have said that but as you said it I'm like “Oh, I have treated food like it was the enemy just like I've treated other things like they are when they're not”. Changing the perspective, reconceptualizing and all sounds like you know, it's important in this area just as much as it is in so many other things.

So yeah, and I all three of my kids had a sensitivity to dairy and I was breastfeeding all of them and I had to eliminate so many things out of my diet and it is very hard when that's the season you're in you just be relaxed and yet it's so important to like what you said look at all sorts of areas not just what we're taking in through food, but the stress factor and all the other factors. 

Michelle Beckne: Right. Yeah, not everything's gonna be perfect right, and certainly not everything's gonna be easy, especially if you're a nursing mom but it's just partly kind of just like accepting that and then being able to make the best of it from there and then like we've been saying shifting your mindset to like, okay food is not the enemy food is powerful.

So yeah, it can affect my baby or it can affect me in bad ways, but also in good ways, right? So the answer isn't always just eliminating foods. Sometimes it's adding in foods that make us feel good too, right? So it's like it's It's powerful in a good ways and not so good ways. 

Corinne Powell: Sure. Sure yeah, anything I think that carries power can be used for to be destructive or to be the opposite, you know to help and to fuel so right, and I mean, you know I've heard it said kind of like what we think about as we're eating our leafy green vegetables will make a difference in how The nutrients is absorbed into our bodies.

So it's so much more than just what's in front of us and I've had to walk away from being very restrictive around what I let myself eat to kind of going through this natural journey, I think my whole life has been this journey of creating freedom around what I ate but then realizing what was actually helping me and nourishing me and what left me feeling not at all that way. And then no longer being so afraid of food or the or the ways it could affect me. 

And I think that's been the empowerment through the process because I used to gosh I didn't let myself eat a lot of things that someone would say like, what are you doing? And it's not that I even have changed my whole way of eating but I've let myself feel the freedom in that area instead of feeling like any bit of sugar or any bit of dairy or whatever it is was going to be destructive to me and kind of enjoying it when I had it knowing I don't want to eat this all the time, but I'm gonna enjoy it when I have it and I'm not gonna treat it like it's a cheat.

You know? Like I hate that word, when people are like, oh, I'm just gonna cheat. I'm like no I'm just gonna enjoy this exactly and I am not gonna let guilt come in or fear come in or any shaming thoughts.

Michelle Beckner: Mm-hmm for sure Yeah and I'd love to hear your experience with that like reconciling that with when you had to you know, you had to be on a restrictive diet for your babies, right? So it's hard. So I want to hear experience but first first, let me say something it is hard to you know fine so when I talk when I work with moms what we always talk about like, okay what are our goals right? Because this is probably just temporary that you're you're gonna be eliminating this foods. 

So what are your goals in the end? And a lot of times the goal is to you know, be able to eat what I want or be able to allow my little one to eat what they want, but also recognizing like if it's gonna make me feel good or if it's gonna make me feel bad. You can still eat it if it's gonna make you feel bad. But you have that choice and you have that power to choose, right? 

So that's usually the goal we work towards when I'm working with a mom like once they're actually able to eat that food again Then they can act then they can decide a lot of times like no, I just don't feel good when I eat dairy I'm just kind of done with it, right? And then other moms want to go full-on back even if it doesn't make them feel good all the way. 

But it's just like it's just being able to make those choices and being able to recognize it and I feel like it's also so empowering for your little ones too because from birth. You and them are working together on this kind of like noticing how food is affecting you and your bodies and making you feel. So that's another way it can be so empowering because you start like you were explaining like eating more intuitively kind of right like knowing like if something's gonna make you feel good and if you want to eat it, like if you can if you're past that stage where baby can't have it at all. 

Then yeah, no guilt attached to it. No cheating attached to it, like just enjoy it and be like, oh now I feel kind of crappy. But it was worth it, right or maybe it wasn't and you learn but you and baby are kind of like learning this together. Like for them from birth It's so it's like really such a special gift that you've been given even if it doesn't feel like it at the time when you feel restricted right? So I don't know like how is it for you? You were trying to balance like eating and feeling good, but also you actually had to be restricted like was that hard for you to reconcile 

Corinne Powell: Yeah, so it was so at the point where I was having to restrict myself for the sake of the kids I was breastfeeding it felt very challenging. Because I was already like living in survival and just trying to get by so then being told I needed to eliminate at that point like dairy from my diet was devastating. 

I was almost like I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if this is gonna send me over like I'm already struggling just to get through my days and now you're gonna take away all of these things that I eat. It became very clear how much dairy I did eat. But I was choosing that for my protein instead of other sources of protein. 

But I also knew it was a choice as much as I say it in a powerless way I mean, I probably felt powerless. But I chose it because I wanted to continue to breastfeed my child and I could see that it wasn't the best for them on my babies I think we're spitting up a lot more than they should be. So it was very difficult from that perspective.

Yeah, so I guess that was in kind of the middle of things. I definitely didn't love my body and I didn't love myself very well at that point in my life In the sense of like if I looked in the mirror, I got was disgusted by I saw the flaws that's what I mean. 

I was at a place where I was stepping into more freedom around food and not eating so intuitively yet at that point I think that's kind of come as I've as the journey's continued, but I would say right now I when I found - let me go back a few years - so after not breastfeeding and reintroducing certain pieces, especially dairy. I found that I was more aware of how it was affecting my body and at that point I was already more mindful and living more intuitively.

So once I realized oh like my go-to was the caramel macchiato, I mean I cut back way back on the sugar I never enjoyed them when like their full amount of sweetener. But the dairy I would have so much gas after having like a latte or macchiato. That I realized I was so uncomfortable. I said, I don't want to go and order that anymore So now it's probably been two years and I've gotten maybe a handful in those two years. 

But it's not satisfying to me for to have that after effect. So in that regard there's been things that I've let go of because I actually liked how I felt without them in my diet but that's not to say that I can't have dairy in any form. I actually can and I'm okay with it in certain forms. 

There was something you mentioned and it's not always gonna be this way like when people are pulling things out of their diet and I felt like that was that was worth going back to because sometimes when we're in the middle of something foods being eliminated or we're afraid to try bringing back certain foods in I think it is good to remember that things don't it doesn't mean it's always gonna be that way.

My kids all had sensitivities to dairy but my son had a sensitivity to dairy for years after like not just till to like till he was I would say five or so and he wanted to eat it sometimes, so whenever we would have something with dairy that he wanted to eat I mean, I bought everything that was you know, goat or almond based or whatnot. 

But when he'd want to have something dairy-based before he would eat it. We would say like, I would say or he would say, “This food is going to benefit my body It's gonna do my body good and my body is going to agree with it”. And for whatever I can't sit here and tell anybody like here's what you need to do and here's what's gonna happen, but I can say for in our lives that my son is able to eat dairy without any negative effects and he's Seven, you know seven and a half now and I remind him of that because for so many years of his life he couldn't eat it without his stools being affected, you know his whole body being affected and now he can.

I love that you brought up that it's not always gonna be this way I mean, I'm not saying everyone is gonna be healed of whatever it is that they're you know experiencing but especially when we're eliminating something during those breastfeeding years. It is so important to remind ourselves of that truth. Like it's not always gonna be this way because it can be so overwhelming 

Michelle Beckner: Right Yeah, and that's something I talk about with the moms I work with a lot because and I mean, we've all been there right? And we all still can get to that place where no matter what's going on if you're in the middle of something that feels really hard it's so hard to imagine not being in that place anymore, right? 

But when you think about it, like it's not like it's not gonna be this way forever. No matter what it is, like it's going to get better. But it's sometimes it takes someone outside of you reminding you like hey it wasn't always this way and it's not always going to be this way. 

And just like recognizing that can be so hopeful right just be like, you know what I can stick with it. I don't know how long it's gonna be but I can stick with it because I know it's not gonna be forever. And even like you said like even if if your little one doesn't completely grow out of it, right? And maybe they do maybe they have a serious allergy that they never grow out of. 

It's at least going to get easier right because you're gonna get used to it It's just gonna kind of be your new way of life like it's not like in the beginning you feel so restricted because it's different from what you're used to. You get thrown out of I always say you get thrown off of your food groove. But you're gonna get your new food groove, right and it's gonna be okay So either way whether your little one grows out of it or not. 

Like it's it's going to get better and it's going to get easier and we know that for certain, right? You're not going to be in these dark hard survival survival mode days forever. That's not what that's for, that's not what life is about 

Corinne Powell: Right, right. Yes, and there are thankfully so many alternatives that are easily accessible so… 

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Corinne Powell: You just heard part one of a two-part conversation. I hope that you enjoyed what you heard today and that you'll come back next week to catch the rest of the conversation we had together. 

[Ending] Here we are. We've made it to the end. What'd you think about what you heard today? Is there something you heard that you know, you need to take action on? I'm one of those people who loves to not just sit and hear something, but to sit in here and then go ahead and start implementing taking action on what I hear, what was stirred up in me and I encourage you to do the same. 

If you enjoyed today's episode or perhaps you heard an episode in the past that really stuck with you would you go ahead and share that with some of your friends and your family? It would mean so much to me and also, if you want to connect with me remember, you can always find me throughout the week on Instagram I'm @corinne_changeradically⁠ or you can email me anytime corinne@changeradically.com. 

I'd love to be in touch and if there's any way that I can help you, please seek me out until we speak again next week. I hope that you will remember in the moments that are loud and busy and in the moments that are quiet and still that who you are is super important. You are valuable and I am so glad that you're alive.