Take care of yourself An Excerpt from the Change Radically Program

[Intro] Hello and welcome to my podcast, Empowered to Thrive. I'm your host, Corinne Powell. I'm an intuitive guide and I absolutely love helping people to heal from within so that they can create a life that they love, a life that they enjoy.

We weren't meant to just tolerate and get through life. We were meant to thrive and enjoy the life we're living. Of course, we will have seasons and moments that are difficult and challenging.

And the beauty of it is that we can be supported in those moments. I am here to be an aid and a guide to support you. And I hope that you will enjoy not only today's episode, but some of the past episodes if you haven't heard them yet.

On this podcast, I talk about all things inner wellness. We also sprinkle in some spirituality and parenting because as a mom to three kids, parenting is a big part of my life. I hope that you enjoy the episode and that there's at least one thing you'll pull from it and start to implement into your own life.

If you want to follow me in other ways, you can find me on Instagram, ⁠@corinne_changeradically⁠ or on Facebook ⁠Change Radically. Would you do me a favor and share this podcast with your friends, if you hear an episode that resonates with you? And would you also go ahead and give me a rating and review my podcast? It would mean so much to me and I would appreciate it. I hope that you enjoy the episode and that we connect.

Corinne Powell: Hello there. Another excerpt from the change radically program is on the podcast today. If you haven't heard the last couple episodes, you'll want to go and listen to them.

You don't need to do it in any order, but it's a really special recap of some moments that are very healing and full of love and care. I hope that your heart will be able to absorb what I share with the members and that you'll be able to connect as the members share from their own experiences. There is only some members that you're going to hear speak because I have been very careful to make sure to give and allow privacy for anyone that was sharing vulnerable information.

So rest assured, knowing that if you hear a member sharing their experiences, sharing their story, it is because I have their permission to share it. I hope that you'll enjoy the episode.

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Corinne Powell: All right. So this week was kind of a combination because in the video, I was talking about creating a lifestyle of rest and not necessarily a lifestyle that isn't full, but knowing your limits, knowing when to say no to something, when to say yes to something, because you're checking in with your body, you're checking in with yourself to know what is good for you. And then if you did anything in the workbook, it was more focused on loving your body, but they're interwoven because if we're going to choose to slow down the pace of our life and actually simplify our life and enjoy our life and create a lifestyle of rest, it is a byproduct of recognizing what we need, what our body needs and aligning our life with it. So not sure for each of you, but I know that I grew up where I was conditioned to believe that it was really important to be productive, that if you were sitting down in the middle of the day to watch a movie, you were actually considered lazy.

No matter if that was a break you needed, it just was like, oh, well, that's not the time of day, I guess you take it. And so I've had to work at simplifying my life because I used to go from the moment I got up until the moment I went to bed and I would cram so many things back to pack in, you know, kind of like if you're running late for one thing, well, then your whole day is off because you didn't give any extra time in between. And it was slowly that I made changes, but really it aligned with everything else I was changing in my life.

And then I've come to this place where I realize, oh, it's actually in my best interest to do less because I was so fatigued all the time, so run down, so frustrated. And if you think about the way we act when we are feeling rushed or pressured, it's normally pretty, well, unless you're grounding yourself in the middle of that rush, you're going to be emotionally dysregulated, you're going to feel semi out of control, and it's just a normal byproduct of putting the pressure on yourself and rushing. 

Healing is gradual. It happens in layers over time. And it is even just that statement, like I feel the pressure lift from my body instead of everything needs to change right now. Why am I not where I know I want to be? You know, that gentleness towards ourself in the process.

So that's great, Dan. Yeah, that's a great goal. And what you said is very, it's key on the healing journey as you realize the words that come up, how you would describe if you had a day where you did nothing, oh, I would be lazy, I would be this, I would be unproductive, these words, because those are the type of words that we can look at, which help us understand the underlying beliefs.

I am not productive unless I am busy all day. Or, you know, you fill in the blanks. But basically, statements like that define what we think about ourselves, and oftentimes we've come to conclude those things based off of what the parental figures, the caregivers, the individuals we grew up around thought and believed.

And not always, but it impacts us. So these are, those are those indicators and those clues, and we can launch from that spot to go a little bit deeper and to say, huh, why does this feeling show up when I slow down? Or what is my inner dialogue when I start to slow down? And then it's with that, that we say, okay, let me sit, pause, I'm not going to start going crazy and get productive just because I feel uncomfortable in this spot, and do a little bit of journaling and that inner work. We learn more about ourselves through that process, and we have a chance to change the inner dialogue and to redefine the belief.

Because any belief we have can be redefined if we want to. And then we're not having so much of that battle within ourselves, because I can identify with what you're saying, Joy, like, oh, a day to not do anything, like, I don't even know if that would be, you know, could I, like, I've been, like, I was there, right? And it's through the practice, and I use that word a lot, but I mean, it truly, where you just practice doing something differently, and then you prove to yourself, oh, I can live differently. 

But I like that goal, a day off. You know, there's been a practice for many years of people taking a day of rest, because for many reasons, it is good for our body and necessary. Y

Client: Yeah. I know, kind of like Joy said, I always wish for, like, a day to do nothing. I tell my husband all the time, like, get me a hotel room by myself. 

That would be the best, literally. But then I'm like, if I went there, I would literally be so bored and probably go out of my mind, like, what do I do? Like, literally, as we're doing this, I'm meal prepping, because I can't sit still. And then I go in my room, right, just now, I went in my room and sat in the back, and I'm like, just be in the moment. 

And then I'm like, let me go check the potatoes. Like, I literally just don't, I, like, fight with my brain. And I've been trying to, I'm like, I don't want my kids to remember that I cleaned all the time. And my house is not immaculate. It's, I got a dog, the floors are dirty.

Like, I don't live for it to be perfect. But there are toys everywhere. And I'm constantly following them and putting things away.

And I've been trying to, this week, actually, like, just be in the moment with the kids. Just watch them in the tub. You don't have to fold clothes while they're in the tub.

You don't have to do everything all the time while they're doing something. And I, like, in the playroom, as they're playing with one thing, I'm cleaning another. And I don't even realize I do it sometimes. So I don't know why I'm like that. 

Corinne Powell: So a couple questions. Does it feel like when you have your house cleaned, at least one thing is in, is like in your control? Does it make you feel better in any way because of other things that are just? 

Client: Maybe. Like, I know, like, I'll sit up, like, my husband says all the time, sit down. Like, at night, it'll be 10 o'clock. And I'm still like, oh, there's a fork in the sink.

You know, I don't want, I want to wake up in the morning in the kitchen, like, be nothing in the sink. So I'll, like, wash that one fork. It's like, Maria.

And I don't get, it's like, and he'll be like, let's watch a show. So I'll sit there, I'll get a tea. And then literally, like, I'll be getting up to do something.

And after I'm done, I'm like, why did I, why did I just, like, it doesn't matter. Like, it's okay if the towels are in the dryer. You don't have, then I fold the towels.

And I'm like, you know what, might as well just put them away. Then I put them away. And then, like, a half an hour goes by.

And I'm like, all right, go sit down. Just relax. Go sit down.

And I sit there. I'm like, all right, scroll through Instagram. Oh, you know what, should I fill the dog's water bowl so I don't have to fill it in the morning? Yeah, let me do that.

And then he's like, where are you going? And I'm like, I don't know. Like, I just, when I sit there, it's hard for me to not think and just sit there. Yeah.

And, like, I, when the house is clean and I go to bed, I feel like, okay. But I remember, like, hearing you before say, like, you finally get to sit down and you're mentally and physically, like, exhausted. Like, that's how I feel.

Like, at the end of the day, I'm just like, I can't even lift my thumb, like, just close your eyes. And then I'm like, because you did it to yourself. Like, why are you doing this? And my mom will say, don't, who cares? Who cares? Your house is never going to be clean.

You have two boys. She's like, it will never be clean. Get over it.

And I'm like, I could try. But I don't know why I do it. Like, my brain just thinks.

Corinne Powell: Yeah. So you might need to start the practice of not following through when you're like, oh, the fork's in the sink. I'm going to go wash it.

Nope. And almost, like, literally see yourself pulling yourself back. Nope, I'm not.

I'm going to leave that fork in the sink. I mean, it's because of how often it happens for you. It can easily, I'm not saying it is, but it could become a way of just trying to create some sort of predictability and security for yourself.

And almost trying in advance to say, well, if I fill the dog's water now, it'll be easier tomorrow. But then we all know something else will come up tomorrow. So you'll be not only doing the extra thing that night, but you'll still be busy tomorrow.

And so you may just need to kind of pull yourself in as you have that thought. Let me just go fold the clothes. The clothes can stay in the dryer.

I'll get to them. And it might seem kind of ridiculous, like, well, I have the time right now. But if you can see in the big picture that it's actually very productive to pause and to say, no, I'm not going to right now, it might help.

But if you can look at it overall and say, okay, yes, I have time. But because this has become a pattern, and a pattern I don't think I want, then I'm going to practice a different way. And it's something, maybe I'm saying this because it's kind of how I do my life.

So there's times when I'll go to get a bath, right, to relax. But then I have my phone with me. So then I'm busy.

I'm like, because I can work from my phone, or I can do things. So I have to literally say, and practice, nope, I'm going to go in the bath, but I'm not having my phone with me. And then I have to make myself stay in that bath for at least an hour.

Client: That's the problem. Because I go in the bath, and then I sit there, and I'll turn the lights off, and I'm literally two minutes go by, I'm like, I can't sit here. And then I'm like, well, what are you going to do? Nothing.

Just sit there. And I'm like, I can't. Yep.

Corinne Powell: So practicing. Don't torture yourself. You start off, if you're doing two minutes, put a timer on for five.

Once five minutes becomes easy, put a timer on for eight. Just be gentle with yourself, but you're almost needing to train yourself to rest. I mean, I get it, like going to the hotel, what would I do? But maybe there's a good book, or maybe it means you're going to get an extra nap in.

Or maybe if you don't normally watch TV, you're going to watch a show. Like the things that you might not, or you're going to go outside and take a walk around the hotel. I don't know.

But there's ways to gently push yourself and just push yourself to relax and rest. 

Client: And I forced myself, I'm like, all right, let me clean everything now by like four o'clock. And then after four, like just don't care.

Whatever happens, like just let it go. Then four o'clock comes, and I'm like, you know what, we should organize a pantry closet. And then as I'm doing that, I'm like, you know what, this goes upstairs.

We should organize the boys. And I'm like, why do you like just stop? You don't have to do anything. Right.

Corinne Powell: The thoughts are allowed to come through your mind, right? We all have thoughts all day long. We do not have to give power to every thought. So you can have a thought that comes through, oh, I should organize this.

Oh, I should get up right now and stop watching the show. Oh, because I could fold, I'll go get the clothes and I'll fold them while I'm watching it. You can have the thought and not give it power.

You can have the thought cross through your mind and say, that's a good thought, but I'm not going to do that right now. And the more you do it, the easier it gets. I can guarantee you.

If you start a practice of just not doing everything that you instinctively think you should, it will get easier. Anything you practice does get easier. I don't know how long it will take, but I can tell you it will get easier.

Client: I've been trying this week. I went upstairs and gave them a bath and I just sat there. I'm like, just sit here.

Do not move. And I literally see something from the corner and I'm like, no, just sit there. It is okay. Do not clean anything. And I didn't. I didn't clean. It was like, I think it was Thursday night. I'm like, do not clean. And it was hard.

And I probably did clean something and not really notice. And it's not that my house is so new and tight. I feel like I clean so much, but it doesn't look clean.

You have kids. So it's like, my mom's like, just stop. Just stop. Because you're like, you're doing this to yourself. But I didn't. The whole upstairs, there were clothes on the floor in the hallway.

The boys had cans of tuna in my workout room. I'm like, just leave it there. And then Friday, I was like, in the morning, I'm going to have a cleaning day. And I was like, I'm going to have a cleaning day. And that's what I did. All right.

Corinne Powell: Well, Very proud of all of you. Looking forward to this week. Reach out to me on Vox or at any time, if you need.And I send you off with lots of love and. Yeah, I'm just really, really proud of each one of you.

[Ending] We've come to the end. What did you think about what you heard? I hope that there's something you pull from today's episode and start implementing it into your life. Create the change that you want to see.

The change that you hear about. You have the opportunity to transform your life. And I'm ready to link arms with you and to help and guide you to the life that you want to live.

If you resonated with what you heard today and it touched you, would you share it with your friends? Would you also go ahead and rate my podcast and write a written review? It would mean so much to me. I hope that we'll connect, whether it's for a session or just to connect because I enjoy meeting new people. You can find me on Instagram, @corinne_changeradically⁠ or on Facebook Change Radically. You can also always email me, corinne@changeradically.com. If you have thoughts, questions or anything that you just want to talk about, send me an email. 

I hope that you have a wonderful week. But no matter what your week is like in the moments that are quiet, maybe it's when you pillow your head at night or when you're driving in the car or taking a walk. Or maybe it's going to be in the midst of the chaos with your children or the craziness of work. I hope that you'll remember how significant you are, that there is meaning and value to your life and that I for one am so glad that you're alive.

Catch you again next week.