Self Compassion: An Excerpt from the Change Radically Program
[Intro] Hello, and welcome to my podcast, Empowered to Thrive. I'm your host, Corinne Powell. I'm an intuitive guide, and I absolutely love helping people to heal from within so that they can create a life that they love, a life that they enjoy.
We weren't meant to just tolerate and get through life. We were meant to thrive and enjoy the life we're living. Of course, we will have seasons and moments that are difficult and challenging. And the beauty of it is that we can be supported in those moments.
I am here to be an aid and a guide to support you. And I hope that you will enjoy not only today's episode, but some of the past episodes if you haven't heard them yet.
On this podcast, I talk about all things inner wellness. We also sprinkle in some spirituality and parenting, because as a mom to three kids, parenting is a big part of my life.
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Corinne Powell: I am so glad that you joined me. And today, you're going to hear another excerpt from the Change Radically program, phase one. Why I'm sharing these excerpts with you is because I want for you to be able to experience some of what the members were able to experience. It was a very special dynamic. And if you would like to join the program in the future, you are welcome to reach out to me.
And I can let you know what's happening and when. But for now, let yourself receive some of the love and the attention that I was able to offer the members during the live sessions. What I say in response to anyone sharing is not just for that individual. And all the members learned that.
If one person was in the hot seat, able to share a traumatic experience, or a painful memory and receive healing, inner healing, it wasn't just for them. Other members would tell me what you shared also touched my heart. And I took in your words, and they made a difference for me. So I hope that you experience the same, that you will be touched by love, that you will
experience some comfort as you listen. And I am very close by if you need to reach out and you have anything that you want to share about your own life. Please feel free to send me an email corinne@changeradically.com
Corinne Powell: So the concept of self-compassion is to be kind to yourself and seeing yourself through eyes of love with empathy.
And for any of us that were more familiar. We're thinking of ourselves negatively critical if we grew up in a toxic environment where people were negative and critical of us, self-compassion is not something that normally comes naturally.
It has to be learned because we learned a different way of living. So how many of you feel like self-compassion is something that you need to deepen and grow in still?
Client: 100%.
Corinne Powell: All right, well, then we're all on the same page. So that's great because that's why we're here.
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Corinne Powell: This next portion of the audio is my response to one of the members after she had shared about some of the deep wounds of her heart.
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Corinne Powell:You are full of kindness and compassion and for the amounts of compassion and kindness that you've given out. It is now time that you're able to receive back some of that and you're not taking it from anybody that you've given it to.
You are actually just including yourself and and the invitations always been there, but we're not always ready.
And so I see, you know, like now is now the gates open. And if you want to walk through it and join the others. You can include yourself and start lavishing love, kindness and compassion onto yourself.
It's an invitation because underneath the feelings are of unworthiness are actual voices and experiences that have said you are you are unworthy.
So it's an invitation to defy. Like you already know, you know, in a probably in a big way, who you are, you know, that you're really this beautiful, kind soul. And so it's like people were saying these things about you.
But they clearly didn't know who you really were. They weren't treating you in a way to reflect that they knew who you really were. And if they had, it would have been very different.
I honor your life. You add beauty to this planet. You create change in the world. And I am so glad that you're alive. It's a celebration over your life.
And the inner critic, that voice that you hear, right, is something that I, I know is very real. I understand it's very loud. And it's through the practice. And I really mean that the literal repetition, the practice of countering those critical thoughts with the ones that are compassionate. That is one way to quiet that inner critic.
Of course, it's, you know, it's in addition to always like noticing. The kid we were and taking care of the inner parts of us, but the. he mind management, the practice of countering. The toxic critical thoughts. Does prove effective over time.
Because again, whether we're aware of it or not, there's always the inner dialogue going on. It's just as we become mindful and more aware of it, we get to decide, okay, is that thought going to be the one that we sit on? Or are we going to counter it with something that's not positive for the sake of positivity. But for the sake of the truth that we. actually need to redefine. Like, like I said, someone defined something about us. Did they really know who we were?
Did, did they really. No, because that what the way they defined us isn't accurate. So now it's, we get to take charge and reparent. And change that inner narrative. So that might be. Something you, you know, some of you want to focus on this week. Is as you catch those thoughts. Countering them with something that's kind, compassionate. A bit positive, whatever, whatever it needs to look like for you.
We have a little bit of time left. I know I've kind of like spoken. Intuitively to some of you already. But is there anyone who does want to sit in the hot seat and share with us. A memory and experience that you've had and receive some love and attention for your inner child.
Client: Sometimes like throughout the day, like when you're busy, like. It's hard for me to stop and think. Of how I feel in certain ways. Is because of my inner child. Or is it just. Like what's happening.
Corinne Powell: Can you expound on that a little bit? It's hard for you to think of how you feel. Is that what you said?
Like, it's hard for me to narrow it down. Like, oh, this is. Sometimes I can associate like, that's probably because my inner child. Like the. The feeling of not coming through on things. You know, but sometimes when things happen and I get frustrated so quickly. And it's not even a good deal. Like, I wonder. Am I not noticing the inner child of what's not being. I guess. It's sometimes hard for me to. It's hard to like pinpoint. Okay.
I'm feeling this way because my inner child felt that. Like, as I was watching your video, I was trying to think of you were talking about how you felt as a kid and in moments, like you'll talk to yourself and like, you know, talk to the little girl. And sometimes it's hard for me to get there.
Corinne Powell: Yeah. Do you, do you know, do you have any ideas on why it's hard to get there?
Client: Yeah. That's why I'm not, I'm not sure. Like, I don't know if it's us. I'm stuck. Like in this. Adult head. Or like, I just don't know how I don't get there.
Corinne Powell: So, so not everything is connected to inner child, but because so much of it is it's why I'm kind of like, oh, inner child, you know, somewhere the kid inside of you probably experienced rejection and you don't know people like you. So that's why I just go back to inner child.
I think even that is a practice. It's something that we learn to become aware of, um, it's not something that I always was aware of for sure not.
And so over time, you'll probably notice even more you're in a child or you'll connect the dots. Oh, this is happening because, and it's not here nor there.
It's not like, oh, I'm doing something wrong because I can't connect the dots. Not at all. It just, it's, it comes and the healing journey. Like the more that we don't.
The, we remember more as we hear, because we don't need to remember it all right now. If you remember it all right now, it would be overwhelming. It would be too much. So it's okay. That you're not always sure. And it's for your good. Um, and everything, I believe things like happen as they're supposed to.
So, you know, um, so yes, sometimes. It's literally just, we're too busy and we need a pause. We need to breathe and we need to actually like connect with ourself in that moment. How am I right now? Like, what am I feeling?
What sensations am I experiencing in my body? Like, you know, do I feel tightness in my, in my shoulders? Is my stomach bothering me?
Um, is my chest, you know, tight, like what, what's going on? What's going on in my body? Because that's an indicator of, of emotionally how we're doing.
And then, yeah, becoming aware of our thoughts. So in the busyness of the day, it is important to pause and like reconnect with yourself.
But just don't like, I just don't want you to feel like you need to, you know, you're doing something wrong because you're not sure of why things. You're not able to connect all the dots.
Client: Yeah. That's when you said remembering. It's hard. Like, um, like when I was watching the video and doing some of the workbook, it said remembering like things as a child or how things felt as a child. Like, and like, sometimes I'm like, I don't even remember.
Like, how did I feel as a kid? Like, did I feel these things, but I don't remember that I felt them? And that's, that's the part I was trying to say.
Corinne Powell: Yeah. So, I mean, it makes sense that you might not remember. You might not remember yet. Or you'll remember things more and more as you go. It is definitely a journey. So, I mean, when I say I started doing the inner work 16 years ago, I mean like intensively and it still takes like, it's a lifestyle for me.
I'm wired in a way that I enjoy doing the deeper work for myself even. But in all that time, it's still only been in the last few years where inner child has been a big focus, where I've realized in the last couple of years, even I've realized so many things. And I thought to myself, why didn't I realize this before? And then I knew it's because it's the layers and everything comes in time.
So not, not saying it's going to take a super long time. It's just bringing that up as an example that like, you're doing fine.
Client: Okay. I know. Cause I'm not a big, like, like some people can feel other people. Like when you go to tears, like, I just, I want to be that. And I like, I wonder, is there something that I'm trying to remember that why I do that?
And I do like think of certain things, but it's like, you want to be just like, you want to just put the guard down, just let it out. It's hard for me.
Corinne Powell: It's hard. Right. And so just giving yourself permission. That it can take as long. As long as it needs, because you're right, you've learned to armor up, you've learned that you better suppress your emotion and push it down because it's not going to be good to let it out. So now you're having to relearn a completely new pattern. And if you're still in, there's people that I'm with where I literally can tell I hold in my emotion.
I do not want to let it out because I do not feel safe around them. So if I let it out, I don't know what they're going to do. I don't know what they're going to do with it. So, but that used to be many more people. I held it in. I just look strong or whatever.
So as you feel safe enough, as you learn that you're actually safe within yourself, you may feel like you start to even connect with the emotion more. And as you shared with me, though, it's a learned pattern. Your body knows you feel emotion, you push it down, you turn it off. So like now your body is having to learn a whole new way, your mind and your body.
And it, it takes time.
Client: Yeah. Like even when my boys were born, like I see all these women crying and like, I love my boys. Like I would, I love them so much. And I'm like, why can't I cry? Like I want to, like I, I'm holding this light. Like I love every part of motherhood, breastfeeding.
Like, I just love it. So like, I never could just like hold them. Like I'd have to be like upset. And I want to cry. It's not that I want to be a crier every second, but I want to be able to be happy and like in a moment and like, just feel like this is amazing.
Corinne Powell: So what do you think about talking like basically confronting yourself this week in a kind way to be able to say, just like you've been doing with the high fives and all, Hey, Mariah, I give you permission to feel and to experience whatever emotions you want. I give you permission to cry if you want to cry. And I am okay if you can't get the tears up like where you actually acknowledging to yourself you're free to do whatever it is you want but you're also not going to sit there and be like why aren't you crying right now when you could be?
You know like um i don't know how that feels to you but i i wonder what part of your own self needs you to acknowledge what it's allowed to do now and giving it permission to change the way that it had that you had to operate that i don't have to operate the way i did when i was a kid
Client: No that makes sense yeah that's you're hearing me exactly what i feel.
Corinne Powell: So i'll just affirm real quick that you know you are allowed to feel the whole range of emotion and if that means tears come it's okay. It doesn't mean you're not strong enough it doesn't mean you're weak it doesn't mean you're a crybaby.
You're also allowed to take as much time as you need to get to the place where you feel comfortable with emotion. Do you ever remember a time has there ever been a time where somebody made fun of you for expressing emotion?
Client: I don't I don't know I remember like if I was ever like I remember being in mrs r's class like I would literally my face would be so red because I did not want her and I don't know why like she used to just be like “what's the definition of this Mariah” like she always used to just do remember but like that I hated being like the attention put on.
I didn't and I literally be like I and then finally one time she's like you can say I don't know I'll go so every time she called me I'd say I don't know like I just I couldn't think on the spot and I that's the moment I would want to cry like and I would hold it in so hard I'd bite my teeth and I just sit there like that's the only thing I can think of like not being made fun of but like I felt targeted and I didn't like that feeling and I used to hate like I knew when her class was coming and my face my neck would get red and I just I would always want to cry in her class like and I would just hold it in so hard that's like the only thing I could when I try to go back like.
Corinne Powell: Why did you want to cry like you felt targeted and what was what more was going on that like was making the tears want to come up?
Client: I felt like maybe I was a failure because I maybe I didn't read the homework or maybe I really didn't know the answer maybe I did know the answer but like when you're sometimes you know like when someone's like what's the name of the song and you're like like you just can't think yes and I would just go back and forth like you know I just.
I hate that feeling of like okay you tell me in front of all these people like yes yep yep that's the only time as a kid that I can remember like wanting to cry but you shouldn't like everyone's staring at you so if you cry maybe they would make fun of you why are you crying over being called on.
Corinne Powell: Right yes. So what did you need in that moment in that classroom when you were being called on you didn't know the answer you felt targeted and super nervous and didn't want to be looked at as a failure what did Mariah need to know what did she need to hear what does she need to experience?
Clients: I feel like just maybe saying like it's okay like or just like in my head if it were me I would just walk over to me and like put my hand on my and be like it's all right if you don't know a lot of people don't know it you're not the only one that doesn't know it like it's gonna be okay. You don't know it today maybe tomorrow you'll know. Like just not like so harsh about it. Maybe if I see myself that's what I see me doing now.
All right you don't need to know fine nobody's gonna die it's okay.
Corinne Powell: Yeah that's right that's right you don't need to know, is okay to not know and do you feel like as you say that to your younger self do you feel like she needs anything more? Does she need a safe place does she need to cry with you as if nobody else is in that classroom? Does she need anything more?
Client: I feel like just going like this made my shoulders go down I felt like I literally like like just yeah it's like if like if you're just sitting behind and you just yeah it's okay good the world's not gonna end like just someone knowing like it's all right.
Corinne Powell: Good all right beautiful yes what you did so what Mariah just did there is exactly it's perfect because that is us going back and reparenting self-parenting our inner child and she literally felt her body's response because she was visualizing her adult self putting that loving soft hand on the shoulder - safe loving touch and now she felt a response within her own body because of it.
So it's what I do with you it's also what you can do with yourself when you feel comfortable and again if you don't feel comfortable that's fine. There's no need to have to do that, you're not going to do that it's just a way of a way of helping yourself heal if if it feels like you can you know? It's also what I do for myself.
The more we become compassionate towards ourself the more we actually take care for our inner child the easier it is to do something like Mariah just did because it doesn't of course it isn't easy if we if we aren't - if we don't hold love for ourself like it would be very hard.
I just don't want any of you to feel like you need to bully yourself or shame yourself if you're if you're not ready to do that that is okay if you're not ready to do that. But if you are then you can take opportunities this week if if there's you know things that come up and you realize “oh this is something that I think my inner child is experiencing and I'm remembering it right now”. Then you can offer some compassion to that part of yourself.
Client: I just want to say thank you because I never that's exactly what I was saying like I don't know how to stop at the moment and like I literally felt that so like thank you.
Corinne Powell: Yeah good for you. You just did it, yay! I want to just close then by reminding each one of you that you are very special, you are significant, you are not alone.
You may have experienced many moments of your life where you were alone, where help was not close by and I want you to know that that is not the case anymore.
Help is close by, help is very near and when you need to reach out you can. I just and send you off with so much love and courage and strength that in the moments where you feel helpless, you feel weak, you feel bullied, that you would sense and know within the deepest parts of who you are that that may have been your reality once and it may be still your reality at certain times but there is a lifeline there are supports.
There are ways now to reach out. I know I don't know the timeline right I can sit here and say it's not always going to be as hard as it's been and I don't know the timeline but I'm not just trying to say nice things. I really do believe that as you link arms with me that I can confidently tell you life is not always going to be as hard as it's been so I'm proud of each one of you.
[Ending] We've come to the end what did you think about this video and what did you think about the rest of the show? I hope that there's something you pull from today's episode and start implementing it into your life
Create the change that you want to see the change that you hear about you have the opportunity to transform your life and I'm ready to link arms with you and to help and guide you to the life that you want to live.
If you resonated with what you heard today and it touched you would you share it with your friends would you also go ahead and share it with your friends as well? and rate my podcast and write a written review, it would mean so much to me.
I hope that we'll connect, whether it's for a session or just to connect because I enjoy meeting new people. You can find me on Instagram, @corinne_changeradically or on Facebook, Change Radically You can also always email me, corinne@changeradically.com. If you have thoughts, questions, questions or anything that you just want to talk about, send me an email.
I hope that you have a wonderful week, but no matter what your week is like, in the moments that are quiet, maybe it's when you pillow your head at night or when you're driving in the car or taking a walk or maybe it's going to be in the midst of the chaos with your children or the craziness of work. I hope that you'll remember how significant you are. That there is meaning and value to your life and that I, for one, am so glad that you're alive.
Catch you again next week.
