Is there an age limit for fun?

[Intro] Hello, and welcome to my podcast, Empowered to Thrive. I'm your host, Corinne Powell, and I'm the owner of Change Radically. 

In this space, we'll talk all things inner wellness, and parenting will certainly come up too, because I'm a mom to four kids, so parenting is a huge part of my life. This space is designed for safety. Your inner child is welcome. Your past self is invited to listen as well. 

And no matter what type of day you're having, I want you to know I'm glad to be with you. I live out of vulnerability and transparency, so come and be. Be yourself. Be messy. Invite a friend, and please stay a while. Keep coming back. I want you around. Now, let's jump into today's episode. 

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Corinne Powell: Hello there, friends. I'm happy to be with you. Let's talk today about fun and ensuring that we keep fun in our life, even as we're getting older, and that we don't lose the child-likeness that is meant to always be a part of us.

If you're anything like myself, you have learned throughout life that it's not all easy, it's not all beautiful. And at times the pain and the trauma of life can create a callousness in us and it can allow us to close up and to push away anything that wants to bring about comfort and relief. And fun is one of those means that is intended to bring about comfort and relief.

I grew up as a fun person having a good time and then became a teenager who recognized there was so much responsibility on her plate and there wasn't time for me. And so I just started doing all the things that I saw needed to be done and taking care of all the people that were hurting around me and neglected my own needs.

Instead of playing sports after school and high school, I worked a job. I cooked dinner. I took care of my younger siblings. I drove them places they needed to be. And all the while, I lost myself. And I stopped taking care of myself, nurturing the gifts that were in me and ensuring that I was enjoying life. Life became all the hardships. Life became all about what needed to be done and who needed to be taken care of. And honestly, the fun and games of life were non-existent for me.

On the healing journey, it is a wonderful thing to learn that fun is important. Fun is necessary. Fun is healthy. And so as I've been on the healing journey, I've been able to laugh more freely and appreciate a good joke and recognize that sometimes when people are being sarcastic or bantering back and forth, that I don't have to take it all seriously. And I don't have to get up in arms about what somebody is saying.

It's also been really refreshing to be able to enjoy fun times. Just recently, I went roller skating with my kids and their school and the other parents and students of the school. And it was so much fun. But if you had asked me to do that, even a handful of years back, I would have just said, no, it's all right. I'll just like keep an eye on Brielle the whole time.

You go have fun. Now, Evan and I did take turns. I wasn't out on the rink the whole time. I did keep an eye on Brielle part of the time. But we shared the time and we split the time because I actually wanted to be able to go out and skate.

I would have been the one to take care of Brielle because it meant Evan could have a good time. And so I would have been taking care of his needs and that codependent part of me would have been taking the driver's seat instead of recognizing we both have needs and we both deserve time to have fun and relax. For...one of my birthday parties, as I've gotten older, I've recognized that I really enjoy having birthday parties. For one of my birthday parties, we went bowling. I invited friends to go bowling and then to come to my house afterwards. And some of my friends didn't even bowl because it can be really uncomfortable if you don't know how to have fun or if you only have fun in certain ways, to be able to even enjoy something like that, to loosen up and to feel like it could be fun. It honestly may not be fun for the person who isn't in touch with that side of them.

And this might look like making sure when you're at the park with your kids that you swing on the swings some too. Of course, to the person or the parent that is only focusing on their own pleasure, that is immature, this could be very lopsided to go to a park and not push your children on the swings but to swing yourself the whole time may be inappropriate. But to the person who no longer knows how to connect with the child side of them and doesn't know how to relax and have a good time, well, they need to engage with the swing for a little while.

[Group Program] I'm taking a moment to interrupt the episode because I want you to know that doors are open for the summer session of Deepen. Deepen is the group program that I host four times a year. In the summer session, we're going to be focusing on how to put your boundaries in place, learning how to slow down your pace and creating space for rest, and letting your authentic self flourish. I'd love to have you join if you're interested in supporting yourself in any of those ways. There are only 10 spots available, so if you want to be one of those 10, I would be honored to have you. It's a dynamic, very personal time together.

We share heart-to-heart, and as you know, I show up real and very committed to helping you experience the change you've been longing for. So go to the show notes and get the link, or go to my website changeradically.com, and sign yourself up today. 

And sometimes there can be barriers below the surface. The idea that I might look foolish. What will people think of me? Or I feel irresponsible for going out and having a good time. Or I don't even know how to have good clean fun. The only time I feel relaxed enough to joke or to laugh is when I'm intoxicated and my defenses are lowered.

Getting to know our authentic self more, noticing our inner child and connecting with that young part of ourself allows us to be able to enjoy having fun. It allows it to be a little bit more comfortable. It still might take years before you're at ease doing these things, but I do sit here testifying that all of these things, roller skating, going bowling, going on a swing at the park, just laughing at jokes, not getting up in arms about someone being sarcastic. I wasn't able to do any of that. And now I can. And it is actually my authentic self, my inner child, getting a chance at life. And it's through the recognition of what I authentically enjoy, remembering who I authentically am, and working through some of the barriers where I don't have to worry about what other people think of me, or I don't have to allow my perception of their thoughts to define what I will or won't do.

I'm not in someone else's head creating a story about what they think or about how they perceive me. Instead, I'm able to engage with the fun activity. And as those questions might present themselves, as those thoughts might come, I don't have to give them my attention. They don't have to take over and get in the way of what I'm doing.

Now, this isn't to say that only having a good time is the point, because I am very responsible and spend a lot of my days busy, productive, and doing what needs to be done because it needs to get done. I'm really touching on a point to say if you're not bringing fun into your life, if fun isn't a part of your regular weeks, then listen to what I'm saying and try to determine what is either the barrier for you, what's going on subconsciously, or what could you start to give a try? What could you start to practice? To perhaps make it more comfortable to have fun, to perhaps stir up that part of you that actually desires to relax and have a good time and do something without thought about other people's judgment, without thought of how silly or childlike you might look.

And consider that through these activities, you're healing parts of your inner child as well. If you were a parentified child like myself, you've lost a part of your childhood. You had to grow up quickly. You had to become responsible for people and in areas that you weren't supposed to be responsible. So now you're allowing these parts of you, to get back something that they always deserved that they missed out on at one point. It won't always be a conscious decision. Even some of the things I'm talking about here, it's more so the recognition of it as I chat with you about it.

If you're interested in diving into this a little bit more, I've created a workbook. You can find it at my shop changeradically.com/shop. And it talks about meeting the emotional needs of children and of adults. I talk in that workbook about how you can connect with your inner child, how can you bring fun into your life. Very practically, it offers you journal prompts, questions to consider, it will take it a step further. If you're interested in what I'm talking about here, go pick up the workbook, do a little bit of your own contemplative inner work, and then see where it takes you. I would suggest it could only be good.

Fun is a wonderful way to lighten up who you are as a person, to lighten up the heaviness of life, and to remind other people too. As you practice something, by default, other people are being reminded of what they might be missing out on or how life could potentially be.

And it's not that you have anything to teach them. It's just simply a beautiful byproduct that when someone has fun, another person gets to look on and say, my goodness, I want to do that too. And you know, think about those adult friends that you have or those acquaintances. I have a couple coming to mind who just always seem to be the type of people who have a good time. They know how to have a good time. They'll have a good time, even if it's not necessarily a setting that seems like it's fun. And it's like they're a big kid, but they know how to be responsible. They take responsibility. They're very productive in their life. They just really identify with that fun part of themselves, that childlike part of themselves.

And I think childish and childlike could be a little different. To be immature and to be childlike are two different things. Anyhow, think about that adult friend or acquaintance you have in mind. What is it about them that you like and you appreciate? What is it about them that irritates you or frustrates you? Just start there. See where that takes you. See what that curiosity gets you. Could be super insightful.

And as we wrap up, what is something fun you could try out this week? It could be something really miniscule. Kicking a ball with your kids, if you enjoy that, shooting some hoops. Grabbing a coloring book and coloring. Watching a comedy and laughing. Or it could be something larger, like planning a time to go bowling or skating or mini golfing. I don't know for you. I don't know what it's going to be for you. I just know there are many options that are good, clean, fun. And they benefit us. They benefit our emotional side, our mental side, our physical side. They're good for us. So go give it a try. 

And I would love to hear what comes of it. You can shoot me an email, corinne@changeradically.com, find me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or figure out another way to reach out to me, but I would love to hear what comes of this for you.  So cheers, cheers to having fun.

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[Ending] Here we are. We've come to the end of another episode. Sit back and reflect on what you heard. What's the one thing that resonates with you that you can take away and do something with? Let's not just listen. Let's listen and take action. Now action may look very different for us. But it's not. But it's doing something with what we hear. 

I hope that you'll share today's episode with a friend that you think would also enjoy it. And please come back next week. I hope that you have a fabulous week and that you remember when you pillow your head at night, when you're going through your days, that who you are is good. And I'm glad that you're alive.