How do I start slow living?

[Intro] Hello, and welcome to my podcast, Empowered to Thrive. I'm your host, Corinne Powell, and I'm the owner of Change Radically. 

In this space, we'll talk all things inner wellness, and parenting will certainly come up too, because I'm a mom to four kids, so parenting is a huge part of my life. This space is designed for safety. Your inner child is welcome. Your past self is invited to listen as well. 

And no matter what type of day you're having, I want you to know I'm glad to be with you. I live out of vulnerability and transparency, so come and be. Be yourself. Be messy. Invite a friend, and please stay a while. Keep coming back. I want you around. Now, let's jump into today's episode. 

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Corinne Powell: Hello there. I'm so glad you're here with me and I am happy to be with you. If you caught last week's episode, my husband, Evan came on and we talked about creating a lifestyle that aligns with your values, living consciously and what that looks like for us as a family. We also trailed back and Evan talked a bit about what it was like growing up for him and what lifestyle was like in his family of origin. I touched on what it was like for me. 

And this week, today, I wanna share about my perspective on living in a restful way, living life, not only consciously, but actually deliberately slowing down the pace of life. Interestingly enough, whenever I talk about this subject in a group of people, the energy, and I am a feeler, I'm an empath, I catch the vibes of the room and the energy of the room usually feels to me like this is something unattainable or pie in the sky. 

There's almost the vibe that it's like, well, I mean, that's for you, but I don't know that I would want to do that or could do that. And I bring that up only because I'm probably going to stir that up in some of you. There may be this idea that you can get confronted with. Like, so this works for Corinne, but this isn't doable for all of us. Or like, this is so idealistic, but come on, let's be realistic.  And if that does show up for you, I would say let it be there, but also, don't let it manipulate what you hear. Like allow it to be there and allow it to be put to the side.

Because there is something from what I'm gonna say that is for you. I don't expect you to model your life after mine. I don't expect that your life is gonna look just like mine. But I do think there's something from what I talk about that you're gonna be able to take away, that you're gonna be able to implement if you want to. That's the only reason I'm here and actually chatting with you. I'm not just doing it because it's the thing to do because another episode needs to be released. This feels like the topic that I should talk about today. 

And is there something in it for me? Of course. But is there something in it for you? Yes, obviously that too. I am here with both of us in mind. And I wanted to break down what we're going to talk about today. We're basically, I'm going to touch on how I needed to slow down and become more intentional, how I needed to learn to connect with my body and rest, and I needed to let go of the opinions of others. I'm sure there would be more wrapped up into this conversation than those things, but we're definitely gonna talk on those points. 

So to give you a little backstory, I don't know how it was when I was a young child, but as I became a preteen and a teenager, and an adult, I lived constantly busy, under a lot of pressure, a lot of stress, a lot of anxiety. I was a strong performer. I knew how to get things done. I knew how to get a lot done in a short amount of time. And I was extremely responsible. 

But that also meant I was disconnected with myself. I was not taking good care of myself. I didn't even know what I needed and I didn't know how to provide it for myself. I was not leaning and depending on others in the way that I should have. And I had learned through my early experiences in childhood to figure it out on my own, to survive, to cope, to do what I could do for myself because through experiences, I learned that my needs weren't gonna be able to be met by the people around me. 

They weren't aware of my needs, their needs were too pressing, whatever the case might have been. And unfortunately, those experiences formed the subconscious beliefs that fueled my actions. And so it wasn't until probably the point where I was married, living with somebody who did life differently than me. Evan has always been a bit more intentional in deliberate, in slowing things down, and not feeling the need to do-do-do all the time, not feeling the need to rush, really the opposite of me in some ways.

But innately, I think I am the type of person who lives intentionally, who does align lifestyle with values. So it was more this idea that I had to come to understand what is authentic to me, because I had been living, trying to people please, trying to align my life with the values of somebody else. Very natural that we're gonna look at the caregivers, the parental figures we had, and in many ways we're gonna model them. We're gonna look up to them with respect and admiration, no matter whether they deserved it or not. And we're going to create a life that mirrors the one that we saw, the one that we experience, the one that we heard about.

So now it was me needing, and we all need, to take that time to evaluate, not what did someone else think was for me, what was the way for them, but what is authentic to who I am. What are Corinne’s values? What are your values? What type of lifestyle do you want to have? Letting go of the opinions of others, the unspoken or spoken expectations, the way that mom or dad or some other caregiver says it should be, says you should do it.

Letting go of the expectations of the partner that you live with, of the other family members, perhaps your children. And by this, I do not mean that you don't need to give an ear to what someone else says, that you don't need to consider them. That's not what I'm referring to. I'm actually referring to the person who considers the opinions of everybody else and doesn't even know what their opinions are.

And as they discover what their opinions are, they still don't respond and act based off of what they want. They still respond and act based off of the expectations or the stronger opinions that are coming from outside of them. That's who I'm referring to. If that's you, turn up the volume a little bit. Remember, there's going to be something, at least one thing for you to take away from this conversation that you can put into practice.

So this idea of slowing down by nature allows us to become more intentional. So you can either choose to become more intentional first, or you can slow down and then become more intentional. Do it however it works for you. Practicing the pause before you respond to someone's ask, because if you're likely gonna say yes, and you're gonna fill up your calendar, and you're gonna feel internally frustrated, it's worth pausing and saying, “I'll get back to you. I'm gonna consider that”. Or just taking your time, not giving them a response, just taking your time to consider it. Does it align with your values? Does it align with the lifestyle you want to have?

The opinions of others…it is a process to let go of the opinions of others, but it is a very doable process. It is what I specialize in helping people with. It will mean you have to establish boundaries and it will mean that you become more self-assured. Initially, it'll feel probably pretty risky, but over time, you'll grow in your confidence. You'll stand firmer in your position, and you won't have this feeling, this urge, this need to prove yourself, because in time, you'll come to realize, I don't have anything to prove.

It's okay if they misunderstand. It's okay if they judge. I know who I am. Who I am is good. I know who I am. Who I am is good. Yes, who you are is good. Who you are is good. You're just fine. You're fine the way you are. I am so sorry for the voices that may have said otherwise, for the voices that said you don't measure up, you're not good enough, you won't be good enough until you change in that area.  My heart hurts for you. With you.

Because that is the opposite of the unconditional love that you deserve. We will always have ways to grow and improve in. That's not what this is about. This is about that innate knowing that I am loved and I am accepted as I am, no matter how I show up. That's what we deserve to experience in childhood. In secure attachments, we experience a parental figure who loves to be with us. It doesn't depend on how we show up. 

It doesn't depend on what type of day they're having or we're having. They are dependable. They are attuned to us and they send our heart the message that they want to be with us, that they enjoy being with us. It's not a chore. I'm with my 15-month-old, almost all day every day.

She's my fourth child. Before I had children of my own, I was a parentified child. So I've been a caregiver at least since I was 12. And I was certainly a big helper before then.

But by age 12, I was helping my siblings learn how to read. I was helping to take care of them. I was working jobs as, regular jobs as a babysitter. And I can tell you that it's not a chore to be with my 15-month-old almost every day all day.

That I enjoy being with her. Are there times when I'm tired? Are there times when I need a break? Of course, that's reasonable. That's expected. I bring that up because I want you to know that it's possible. When we didn't experience that...Sometimes it's hard to know, like, is that really possible? It is, it is.

So resting is such an integral part of living a conscious life, slowing the pace down, connecting with our body and noticing what it needs and then responding to those needs will in turn mean that we rest. Oftentimes it's the disconnected.

Life that we live when we're go, go. When we're extremely productive, when we're high performers, we've disconnected with our body to a degree in order to live out that life. It is likely that we are living run by the opinions of others, the internalized voices, that's say, we need to do better. Once we accomplish this, we'll have reached this level where we'll receive their approval. And the point is, you are approved of, simply because you are. Simply because you are a person. Not because of what you do. Not because of how well you do it.

That's the message I want your heart to hear. If you're listening to me and you're like, okay, I hear what you're saying, Corinne, but I do not know how to get that, how to experience that, how to cultivate that in my life, slowing down the pace, becoming more intentional, letting go of the opinions of others? Resting? What? How do I do this practically? Because you know in the last 15 minutes, I have not explained how you get to do all this.

If you want to delve more deeply into this, would you reach out? I'm here to support you. I'm offering four months of support, one-on-one, very personalized, pertaining to the subject matters that you want to focus on. I support people in many different aspects that all relate to the healing journey. You get to choose from a short list which elements do you want to hone in on. Do you want to cultivate a deeper self-love? Do you want to establish firmer boundaries? Do you want to connect more with your inner child? Are your relationships in need of repair and you wanna focus on relationship health? Those are just some of the ways that I can support you. There are others. 

And if you're interested and you're ready for four months of one-on-one support, I would be honored to sit with you and to support you. You would have weekly sessions with me. You would have materials to utilize in between those sessions. And I would be available to you all throughout the days in between the sessions as you're coming up against challenges, as you're feeling triggered, as you're needing a reminder, hey just can you remind me of who I authentically am? I need that affirmation, I need to hear it because we all need it, we all need to hear it. It's not a weakness. 

Sometimes there's a deficit because of our earliest experiences, the caregivers that were not able to be what we needed. And it's time you deserve to receive the support that you've always needed.

So if that is of interest to you, you can link in the show notes to find out more. You can go to my website changeradically.com to find out more. Or you can reach out to me in any way that you normally reach out to me. And I can point you in the right direction and get you set up to start even today, receiving my consistent support.

It will help you radically change your life. It will help you experience deep transformation from the inside out, and you will be the better off for it. You deserve to enjoy the life you're living. You deserve to be able to feel less anxiety, less depression, more joy, more peace.

You deserve to get to live a life that aligns with who you are and to get to know more deeply who you authentically are so that we all get to see you living out your authentic life. I would love to link arms with you and to support you on this path. If you're local to Connecticut, we can meet in my office or we can always meet virtually over Zoom, no matter where you are on the globe, even if you're in Connecticut. 

So think about it. And if you already know, I've thought about it, Corinne, I'm ready, then please reach out. Until next week, I'm wishing you all the best. And I'm so glad you were here with me today.

[Ending] Here we are. We've come to the end of another episode. Sit back and reflect on what you heard. What's the one thing that resonates with you that you can take away and do something with? Let's not just listen. Let's listen and take action. Now action may look very different for us. But it's not. But it's doing something with what we hear. 

I hope that you'll share today's episode with a friend that you think would also enjoy it. And please come back next week. I hope that you have a fabulous week and that you remember when you pillow your head at night, when you're going through your days, that who you are is good. And I'm glad that you're alive.