Should I Be This Busy? Help for Those Who Are, But Don't Wanna Be

[Intro] Hi, and welcome to my podcast. I'm your host, Corinne Powell. I'm an intuitive guide and the owner of Change Radically. My intention, both here and in private sessions, is to come alongside you in a way that feels safe and empowering.

So many of us are experiencing similar things and feeling common emotions, but we won't know that unless we talk about it. You aren't supposed to have to go it alone.

I specialize in helping people pleasers change patterns and create a life they feel good about. Life should not be consumed by doing things you feel obligated to do. Do you want to feel a lot less frustrated? Then stop living in a way that benefits everyone else at your expense. 

Empowered to Thrive is a place of safety. Conversations focus on topics that impact our mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Parenting comes up too. Because I'm a mom to four kids, and it's natural for me to talk about the impact that has on life.

Bottom line, you're always welcome here, no matter what type of day you're having. Your friends and their friends are welcome too. Please share the podcast.

Let's create a place of community and connection that is saturated by authenticity and transparency. I'll start. Now, on to today's episode.

Today's episode. It's about creating a lifestyle of rest and how you can practically do that. But I want to also say, this is a way of self-parenting. And we've been talking about parenting, we've been talking about ways to support our kids. But a lot of that comes through learning how to support ourselves first.

And depending on the parents that you grew up with, you may need to self-parent yourself in numerous ways. But one practical way is ensuring we get the rest and the sleep.

Both are important, and they're different. Because there's a lot of ways you can rest besides sleeping, and both are needed. But we need to learn how to do that for ourselves.

So I'm going to share a little bit about my story and give you practical ways that you can start to create a lifestyle of rest. And I just got to brag on Evan for a minute.

He is definitely a family man. To give you an idea of what I mean, we used to homeschool our kids. And he did 75% of it.

He actually stopped working his full-time job and started his own company so that he could have a more flexible schedule and help me out at home.

Now, in case you think, “oh my goodness, she has the life”. I want to quickly smash that idea and just say, hey, we have a lot of our issues.

And if you follow me on Instagram, you know about them. And at the same time, Evan was willing to do that, and I'm super grateful, because I needed to learn how to create a lifestyle of rest.

That's the subject we're talking about today. And it was so important for me that, yes, we were willing to restructure our entire lifestyle.

Granted, we could have put our kids in school. Homeschooling was important to Evan, so he was willing to make that sacrifice. Because I was not up for doing it all.

I lived under a constant cloud of exhaustion. My iron stores were depleted, and I was absolutely worn out.

Granted, I was a mom to three under three and the daycare provider for my three-year-old nephew. So yes, that's four kiddos, three years old and under, that I was taking care of.

But I can't blame my exhaustion on motherhood. The family dynamics of the home I grew up in and the toxicity of it had done a number on my nervous system.

I had abandoned myself and my needs for years before I became a mom. If you can relate, then keep listening.

And if you already have a good handle on rest, I am so glad. Hopefully, there will be still something out you hear today that empowers you.

But let's get into the topic of rest and creating a lifestyle of rest. Because this is one important topic. And I know it's not new news.

But do we live as if rest is important? Think about how cranky and irritable you might be before a nap or a good night of sleep. And then how you feel after it.

Creating a lifestyle of rest is vital to the health of our motherhood. And not just in motherhood, but for life in general. Our kiddos need good rest and sleep. We all do.

And a lifestyle of rest simplifies everything. You're going to say no to a lot more. So your days and your schedule will be easier. You'll be able to go at a slower pace.

And it'll be more gentle on your body and your mind. It is an incredible trade to a hectic full schedule.

Now, I recognize many of us are conditioned to be on the go all day, every day. For a lot of us, that's what was modeled as we grew up. So I know what it's like to be on the go with so much crammed into every day that if you run late for one thing, you're late for everything else. 

The stress of getting ready to go and getting out of the house. And then the anxiety on the way there as you're running late, hoping every light will stay green or turn green so that you can get through it. Yep. I know how that feels. I grew up with a dad who praised productivity

and a mother who needed a lot of help because she was incredibly overwhelmed and unhappy with her life. So that's how I learned to live abandoning myself and my needs.

What was modeled to you as you grew up? What did your parental figures define as good? Were you conditioned to go, go, go at the expense of your energy and health?

All right, so I've got something that you're going to want to hear. Are you ready? Rest is productive. I'm going to say it again. Rest is productive. 

Give yourself permission to take breaks. Be easy on yourself. Rest when you need, and yes, be prepared to disappoint people. We need rest. You can still be responsible, stick with your commitments, have good follow through and be productive. 

Remember, rest is productive. Sometimes you can't make something happen. When you are physically, mentally, or otherwise exhausted, you must rest to rejuvenate. Now, rest may look different for you than me. Some of us enjoy being with people and others of us want to be alone to recharge.

Whatever it is for you, do something relaxing that you enjoy. You're going to have to be intentional to rest and relax. I mean, come on.

We all know this is not something easy if it's not already something we practice. But by doing it, you're going to release pressure from your body and your mind.

Rest is first a choice. If you deny yourself rest, it will become a demand. I say that knowing firsthand the truth of it.

Now, if you're there thinking, “Okay, Corinne, I hear you say you were able to create this lifestyle of rest. Your husband totally revamped his life so you could get what you needed, but that's not my situation”. I want you to know that I have some suggestions for you.

If you're there saying, this sounds great, but I don't have the opportunity to make this happen. My family dynamics, my personal situation just won't allow for it.

So what about when you're tired, can't rest, what can you do? I came up with a short list. And I always suggest when you're hearing a list, take one thing away that especially resonates with you. They all might in some sort of way, but what's the one thing that more than all the others stands out to you?

Take that and walk away with it and start to practice it. Because the goal is not to be overwhelmed by lots of new things to try to implement. It's actually, to create something hopeful in your life. So hear what I have to say and take the one thing and walk away and practice it.

Accepting kindness. Now, we sometimes get caught up in qualifying how that has to look or what that has to be.

And I'm going to suggest we accept kindness regardless of if it's the type of kindness that we were hoping for.

And I know it can feel really risky to open up to love because it means we might get hurt. And for some of us, we know how devastating that feels. So don't jump into the deep end with this.

Just start by sharing your heart, sharing what's really going on with a few safe people. Because you want compassion and empowerment and I think those things come through support. We don't need pity.

So begin by talking to people that you feel super comfortable with. And then from there, see what comes.

If somebody is offering kindness to you in any form, work at allowing that in. The next thing that's going to be important is getting outdoors.

Letting yourself be affected by nature. Nature is naturally grounding. Think about a time when you've taken a short walk.

Or actually, if we're going to just go to this place of movement, even when you've done a 15-minute workout. Did you feel good afterwards?

I know I've experienced that. And it motivates me to do it again. So take advantage of the little bits of time you have. A stroll around the neighborhood, if you live in a neighborhood where you can take a walk, can be helpful.

You can even do that a few times throughout the day. It doesn't have to be long. These things make a difference.

And outdoors is especially good for us.

The sunshine, the fresh air, the ground beneath our feet, if you're barefoot, even better.

So accept kindness and get outdoors. Nextly, you can practice compassion. And that's compassion towards yourself and others. Because you need it and so do they.

Think about how easy it is for people to start to get on our nerves when we're tired and having an emotional day. And we could be extra emotional because we're tired or because there's things going on.

So pause before you speak. And not just considering what you say to other people, but become aware of your own self-talk. Is it negative? Are you down on yourself?

Are you getting frustrated with the way you're showing up? Do you not like the way you're interacting with your kids or other people? Start to be compassionate towards yourself.

Change the negative real into something that's loving and kind. Because how you think directly affects how you feel.

So something like, I'm doing the best I can and that's okay. Because yes, friend, you are. You're doing the best you can.

And that is enough. And the best we can changes depending on the season we're in. Some seasons we're stretched really thin and the best that we can do looks different than in other seasons. 

Lastly, pause and breathe. Throughout the day, slowly and deliberately inhale and exhale. Make a practice of taking deep breaths. You can even go a step further if you want.

And start to speak out truth and positive affirmations as you breathe. Like I said, I'm doing the best I can right now.

I'm going to give you an example of how that can look, what that can sound like. And again, this is me speaking out truths and positive affirmations that I need to hear that resonate with me.

Personalize them for yourself and in those moments. Because it's going to vary. Sometimes you need to hear the same thing on repeat. Other times what you need to hear from yourself is going to change. So here we go:

“I'm allowed to have my own opinion. Other people are allowed to disagree with me. I have permission to disappoint people”.

“My job isn't to make everyone around me happy”. 

Now I often speak to my inner child because I'm simply a grown version of the little girl that I once was. And the echo of our past shows up in present day. So I might say something like,

“Little Corinne, you are safe. I'm so sorry you didn't always get to feel this way. You're not living with mom and dad anymore. Now I'm taking care of you and I'm learning how to meet your needs. You're always welcome to tell me what you need. I'm here to help”.

This is actually a prime example of why we need to create a lifestyle of rest in many cases. Because we're reparenting ourselves, we're self-parenting. The little kid we once were that maybe didn't have all the support and help that she needed, we now can offer to ourselves. And creating a lifestyle of rest is a really practical way of showing up for yourself.

So again, I hope that there was something you heard today that you can take and implement. I hope that you feel empowered and supported.

[Ending] We've come to the end. What did you think about what you heard? I hope that there's something you pull from today's episode and start implementing it into your life.

Create the change that you want to see, the change that you hear about. You have the opportunity to transform your life. And I'm ready to link arms with you and to help and guide you to the life that you want to live. If you resonated with what you heard today, and it touched you, would you share it with your friends? Would you also go ahead and rate my podcast and write a written review? It would mean so much to me. 

I hope that we'll connect, whether it's for a session or just to connect because I enjoy meeting new people. You can find me on Instagram, @corinne_changeradically, or on Facebook, Change Radically. You can also always email me, corinne@changeradically.com.  If you have thoughts, questions, or anything that you just want to talk about, send me an email. 

I hope that you have a wonderful week, but no matter what your week is like, in the moments that are quiet, maybe it's when you pillow your head at night, or when you're driving in the car or taking a walk, or maybe it's going to be in the midst of the chaos with your children or the craziness of work. I hope that you'll remember how significant you are, that there is meaning and value to your life, and that I, for one, am so glad that you're alive. 

Catch you again next week.