An Uncomfortable Conversation

[Intro] Hello and welcome to my podcast, Empowered to Thrive. I'm your host, Corinne Powell. I'm an intuitive guide and I absolutely love helping people to heal from within so that they can create a life that they love, a life that they enjoy.

We weren't meant to just tolerate and get through life. We were meant to thrive and enjoy the life we're living. Of course, we will have seasons and moments that are difficult and challenging.

And the beauty of it is that we can be supported in those moments. I am here to be an aid and a guide to support you. And I hope that you will enjoy not only today's episode, but some of the past episodes if you haven't heard them yet.

On this podcast, I talk about all things inner wellness. We also sprinkle in some spirituality and parenting because as a mom to three kids, parenting is a big part of my life. I hope that you enjoy the episode and that there's at least one thing you'll pull from it and start to implement into your own life.

If you want to follow me in other ways, you can find me on Instagram, ⁠@corinne_changeradically⁠ or on Facebook Change Radically. Would you do me a favor and share this podcast with your friends if you hear an episode that resonates with you? And would you also go ahead and give me a rating and review my podcast? It would mean so much to me and I would appreciate it. I hope that you enjoy the episode and that we connect.

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This conversation I want to have today is a difficult one for me because it's touching on some buttons of mine that trigger me and I'm willing to have this conversation because I want to be who I need to be for myself. I want to put into practice all the things that I'm relearning, all the ways that I'm choosing to show up as my authentic self. 

I've been a part of many conversations in this last year surrounding racism and how black and brown individuals have been mistreated and have been abused and in ways that they never should have been simply because of the color of their skin.

I think there should be no tolerance for any sort of racism. And in this conversation today, I want to talk about prejudice and how it has affected me in my own life. Now being a white woman makes me feel a bit uncomfortable talking about how I have been affected by prejudice because I've heard a lot of people say, in other words, basically you don't have a right to talk about your experiences because there are other people who have been mistreated and in much more severe ways than you.

And the vibe has been that not only can I not understand them but I will never walk a day in their shoes. And I want you to know that I'm not saying that I have experienced what people of color, black and brown individuals, and anyone who has been mistreated because of their ethnicity. I'm not saying that I have experienced everything they have gone through.

I'm simply here to share my experience and to own it as my own. And I've been learning that that is what I must show up and do. That not only do I need to speak and use my voice to share my truth, but I need to acknowledge my experiences as whatever they've been.

And for me, I first experienced prejudice when my husband and I started dating. So he wasn't my husband at the time, but we had been friends for six years. And then we started dating. And my husband is a black male. And I, being a white woman, was actually not welcome in his family's home when we started dating. And I think, cognitively, I can stand here and say it was because I reminded them of past pain.

They had been hurt deeply by individuals who looked like me. And so, of course, it makes sense that they could be hurt and feeling a lot of emotional triggers when their son says he's going to be dating and planning to marry someone who is not black. And yet, what hurt more is that we had been friends. I was friends with his family. His family was friends with me. 

And so, being rejected by people who once called you friend hurts even deeper. And to be honest with you, I haven't fully gotten over that pain. I still have healing that is needed in that area. And I know that my pain, emotionally speaking, is not just because of what happened in that experience. I had experienced rejection in other forms throughout my life, and it was only compounding the pain I already knew. But it was very legitimately painful for me. 

I had been naive to how other people had been mistreated based off of the color of their skin. And now I was experiencing it firsthand. It was a very difficult experience for me. We got married about a year and a half after we began dating, and there were relatives, extended family of mine, who did not support the fact that we were interracially marrying, as they called it. And as I see it, we are all the human race. 

And I very much recognize there is diversity, that we are from different ethnic backgrounds, and we should each be recognized for where we come from. And our origin story and our ancestry is very important. It's very valuable. So as I say, we are all a part of the human race, I am not saying that to diminish or dismiss the color of your skin. And I say that emphatically because I have been accused of basically something that my heart is not trying to say.

And that's why this conversation is a bit difficult for me, because this is a touchy subject. And I don't usually speak on subjects that are so controversial, because I don't want to hear the criticism. I don't want to hear the differing opinions, not because I don't want to welcome other conversation, but because normally I'm pinned as being wrong, and my viewpoint is not looked at as valid. And I stand here saying that our viewpoint should each be honored. 

You can have a different viewpoint than mine. You can disagree with me, but I should still be able to share my heart. I should still be able to talk about my experience and how I see things in life. And so I'm not just doing this because nobody can speak back to me, because really, truly, you can. You can email me. You can contact me through social media. You can leave me an audio message through the podcast app, Anchor. And I am comfortable and welcome all of that if you have thoughts and opinions and things you want to share.

But I'm really having this conversation because it's a mark in my healing journey. It's me sitting here saying that I am actually moving forward and growing in a way that's allowing me to speak my truth and to use my voice. So going back to the heart of it all, as I experienced rejection based off of a prejudice, not based off of who I was as an individual or the character within me, I had a choice to allow that experience to create a callus in me, to cause me to close up, and to become someone who had to protect herself even more.

I already knew how to protect myself. I was actually learning how to open myself up more to love, open myself up more to individuals who could hurt me through their words, through their actions, those sorts of ways. And as much as it was painful and as much as it strained the relationship that I had with my husband's family, I recognized that I wanted to expand within love.

I wanted to walk out the pain of this life, whatever it might be, whether it's that situation or a different situation, I wanted to walk it out and expand into love. I wanted to become more of my authentic self, who I innately am. And so that was my unconscious goal.

It's been my goal throughout life. It's not like I sat there and said that to myself, but it is how I want to live out life. And basically, we all have that choice.

I don't know what you've experienced. I don't know what pain, emotionally speaking or physically speaking, that has been inflicted on you, but I know that we each have a choice. What will we do with what is happening to us? And it's not to diminish or dismiss the actions of other people. It's not to discredit the pain that you've experienced. Not at all. 

It's simply to empower you that you can know that other people don't get to determine how you'll respond to the trauma of life, how you'll respond to whatever you might face. We each can respond differently, even if we walk through the same experience. 

And so all these years later, we've been married almost 10 years, so it's about 12 years since all this happened. Yes, I said I still have some healing that needs to take place and I will be patient in the process. I will have compassion on myself in the process until it happens. There have been layers of healing that have come and more will come. But through my experience, through my awakening to see how there was much of the world that didn't see people the way I did. I actually have an easy time loving people that socially are not always accepted. 

And whether that's because of lifestyle choices, disabilities, or racial differences, it's always been something that's been easier for me. And this experience that I walked through allowed me to just recognize that there were a lot of people who have been hurt in the same way as me and more deeply. And it allowed me to carry more empathy and more understanding. 

And like I said at the beginning, it's not to say I've experienced the same things that other people have experienced, but I have been touched in the same way. By rejection, simply based off of the color of my skin. And I say in that way because I really do not think we should ever reject somebody based off of their physical appearances. How that ever became an acceptable thing, my mind will not be able to comprehend. My heart will not be able to comprehend that.

And so friend, we each have a choice. How will we view other people in our life? And how will we respond to the pains of our experiences? How will we respond to the rejection we experience, to the prejudices we experience? Because come on, we all have prejudices that we don't even realize. Unconscious biases.

And some of it's based off of our past pain and the traumas that we've encountered. And some of it is absorbed from generations before us and from society. That's why they're unconscious. They're not recognized always. But we have a choice. We can become somebody different than we are today. Whatever we walk through in life will change us. You will be changed by whatever it is you experience in life. But how will you be changed? Will you become someone who is more empathetic? Who is more understanding? Who carries even more love? 

Or will you become someone who's callous? Who's negative and critical? Will you allow the difficulties and the tragedies of life to shut you down? Or will you, in your own time, allow yourself to expand more into love? I see you. I care about you. I am really sorry. I'm really grieved for any racial rejection you've experienced, for any prejudices that you have experienced, and for any rejection of just any kind that you've walked out. 

I know how painful it can be. And I want you to know that not only are you not alone, but you are very loved. 

[Ending] We've come to the end. What did you think about what you heard? I hope that there's something you pull from today's episode and start implementing it into your life. Create the change that you want to see, the change that you hear about. You have the opportunity to transform your life.

And I'm ready to link arms with you and to help and guide you to the life that you want to live. If you resonated with what you heard today and it touched you, would you share it with your friends? Would you also go ahead and rate my podcast and write a written review? It would mean so much to me. 

I hope that we'll connect, whether it's for a session or just to connect because I enjoy meeting new people. You can find me on Instagram, @corinne_changeradically or on Facebook Change Radically. You can also always email me corinne@changeradically.com. If you have thoughts, questions, or anything that you just want to talk about, send me an email. 

I hope that you have a wonderful week, but no matter what your week is like in the moments that are quiet. Maybe it's when you pillow your head at night or when you're driving in the car or taking a walk, or maybe it's going to be in the midst of the chaos with your children or the craziness of work. I hope that you'll remember how significant you are, that there is meaning and value to your life. And that I, for one, am so glad that you're alive.

Catch you again next week.