A look into my life

Let me begin by giving you a glimpse into my life as a stay at home mom. I have 3 children, ages 6, 5 and 3. I had my children within the span of 37 months. Along with that, I was the full time day-care provider for one of my nephews. Talk about exhausting…. I was not only exhausted, I was overwhelmed. Not just because of the number of kids I was with, but more so because of the span in which I had them, the toll it took on my body, and the emotional roller coaster I went on during that time.

After my second pregnancy I knew I wanted a break before having another baby. So, I chose a form of birth control that is 99% effective. Did you guess it? I fell into that 1% of women who get pregnant! My second pregnancy was with a boy and I felt pretty much amazing. On the contrary, when I was pregnant with my girls, I felt absolutely horrible all 9+ months! So, not only did I feel totally overwhelmed by being pregnant when I didn’t feel like I could handle it, but also I felt sick to my stomach day in and out. For any of you that haven’t had an easy pregnancy, you get it! For those of you who haven’t walked that path exactly, I’m sure you can imagine - just think sick with a stomach bug, day after day for 9+ months but not getting to take “sick days.”

Also, my husband and I had been the foster parents for one of our nephews. Once he was reunified with his mom we became his day care provider. We considered it a gift to have him with us but it carried its own sense of intense emotions because we loved him like one of our own children, but he wasn’t ours.

I reached out for help and received some but not as much as I felt I needed. I tried as much as possible to do my best but constantly felt like the task in front of me was more than I could handle. I worked part time and truthfully that was my respite. I am so glad I kept my job during that time because it really gave me a break, doing something else I loved - outside of my home!

It wasn't until the beginning of 2018 that my family life began to feel lighter and more doable. My husband quit his full time job and started working less and creating a more flexible schedule for all of us by making that decision. Since he can work for himself as an aborist (tree specialist) he started his own business. Our income was less but our stress was also less! It was worth the trade. We have a preschooler, kindergartner, and a first grader who we currently home-school. This is another reason why having my husband present more during the day is a huge relief to me.

This past year I was able to travel more and spend time away for various reasons without it being a major strain on any one of us. I started to feel myself living for Corinne again, not just for others. I was finding resources and implementing routines to help me with self-care, in turn loving myself better.

Basically what I'm trying to convey by sharing my story with you is this: do what you need to do for yourself to find the most happy, peaceful existence you can. This will look different for all of us but it may carry some similarities. Do what you must to create the home and family life that satisfies you and your partner and helps your kids to be as happy as possible. What if we live our entire life and then recognize it wasn't satisfactory to us? Seriously, what's the point?