Emotional Maturity

[Intro] Hello, and welcome to my podcast, Empowered to Thrive. I'm your host, Corinne Powell. I'm an intuitive guide, and I absolutely love helping people to heal from within so that they can create a life that they love, a life that they enjoy. We weren't meant to just tolerate and get through life. We were meant to thrive and enjoy the life we're living.

Of course, we will have seasons and moments that are difficult and challenging, and the beauty of it is that we can be supported in those moments.

I am here to be an aid and a guide to support you, and I hope that you will enjoy not only today's episode, but some of the past episodes if you haven't heard them yet.

On this podcast, I talk about all things inner wellness. We also sprinkle in some spirituality and parenting. Because, as a mom to three kids, parenting is a big part of my life.

I hope that you enjoy the episode and that there's at least one thing you'll pull from it and start to implement into your own life.

If you want to follow me in other ways, you can find me on Instagram, @corinne_changeradically, or on Facebook, Change Radically.

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Welcome back. I am so glad to be with you again. I needed to take off the month of September, but I have been looking forward and anticipating being back with you. So here we are. And there are many things I'm going to be speaking about because within that time that I took off, it allowed space for me to come up with new ideas and topics for us to speak about. 

And I love when you share what you're interested to hear on the podcast. So some of the episodes coming up this month are specifically because some of you have asked to hear more about the topic. So I'm going to share a few of the things that I'm going to be speaking about. 

So any of you who are interested in hearing more about the topic. So any time you want to hear about a certain subject, drop me a message, send me an email, let me know in whatever way you normally communicate with me, and I will put together something for you and for everybody else who's listening. 

So let's get to it. Today, we're going to talk about emotions. I'm going to describe how certain emotions feel from my perspective and what to do with emotions, especially if you struggle and have a hard time expressing your emotions and feeling them. Let me begin by acknowledging that at times in our life, in order to cope and to survive, we've had to suppress and disconnect from our feelings, from our own body.

And so in that, we've learned and we have to unleran. So if you struggle with connecting with your physical sensations and knowing how you're feeling within your body or the emotional side of things, you just don't know how to name your feelings, you don't know really what you're feeling, but it becomes obvious that you're feeling something, be patient with yourself. Be kind. And together, we're going to get you to a place where things feel clearer and you have more of an understanding.

But it's a process. If you've lived many years in one way, to unlearn that and to relearn a new way takes time. And I don't know if you can hear it, but it is starting to pour. And so I hear the rain in the background, which makes me think about rainy days and how much I enjoy just sitting with a book or watching a movie or just like being able to chill and relax for the day at home. But moving on from the rain. 

Oh, emotions. So feeling emotions can be uncomfortable and downright scary. And there, like I said, there are various reasons why we block ourselves from feeling. And we need to do that sometimes, especially when we're young children, in order to cope and survive through difficulties and traumatic situations. But now we're at a new place. We're at a place where we are in a safe environment. I'm here to support you.

And you're going to be able, in moments when you start to feel emotion, to remind yourself, hey, it's okay just to feel these things now. I'm safe now. I'm allowed to feel them.

Perhaps you grew up in a family where emotions were not welcomed unless they were certain emotions. Like some families allow happiness and joy and gratitude.

But they don't allow you to be sad or to be angry or to be dissatisfied. And so in this space with me, all of your emotions are welcome. I'm not afraid of them.

And I actually think we need to let them surface because they're indicators. They're helping us to know what's going on below the surface and helping us to get a better understanding of you and why you feel what you feel. So if you've needed to block yourself from feeling or you've needed to disconnect from the sensations in your body, my first thought is that you're going to need to get curious and you're going to have to consider. 

Consider these questions. What will happen if you allow your emotions to surface? What is that going to mean for you or the people around you? How will your life be affected? What is it going to change?

Sit with that, take a moment, pause the episode or consider it after I'm done talking.

But that's going to be important for you to allow yourself to go there. What would it be like if I cried when I felt like I needed to? What would it be like if I let myself get angry when I've never let myself get angry before?

Because if you if you don't normally allow yourself to do these things, then the what-ifs are hypotheticals. You really don't know what will happen, but what do you think will happen? 

And now the next thing I'm going to encourage you to do as you go through your day, so this is going to be ongoing, but remember if you're unlearning something that you've been conditioned in and you're relearning a new practice, you have to do just that.  You have to practice it every day for it to become something that you naturally do. 

So as you go through your day, start to take notice. Any physical sensations that you feel, make note of them. Oh, I feel butterflies in my stomach right now. My back's hurting me, like my shoulders or my feet ache. Oh, I have a headache. Where is that headache? Like what part of it? Is it in the back, my neck, in the front, in my temples? 

Start to take notice. And as you become more mindful and aware, you're going to have more insight. Because what I also am going to encourage you to do is to make note of the thoughts that go through your mind many times in a day. There's usually like a certain reel, that inner narrative that we think repeatedly. 

Maybe it's the statement, life is too hard. I can't do this. I'm in over my head. Whatever it is for you, as you recognize, oh, oh, I think that a lot. Or, oh, I just thought that earlier today and here it is again in my head. Just write it down. Write it down so you can get it out your mind. You don't have to worry about forgetting what that phrase is. And if it's one you think of often, you're not going to forget it anyhow until you start to really substitute that for other words. So write that down. 

Because as you become aware of what you're feeling and what you're thinking, like, oh, this physical sensations that you're feeling. You're basically integrating and connecting with yourself in more ways. And then you and I together have more insight and I can help you to determine what some of your feeling states might be based off of that information. 

If you start to feel the emotions bubbling up and you're feeling like you're in a safe enough place to let them out then let them out.

Now this is never me encouraging you to do something that will harm yourself or somebody else okay if you feel anger it doesn't mean that you need to explode and yell at somebody it means you could go out for a run you could punch a pillow or if you have you know a boxing bag you could do whatever it is that you feel like will help you to allow that emotion of anger to pass through. 

And even before you feel the anger if you can give way for a pause and consider what is below that anger. Are you feeling overwhelmed right now? Are you feeling overlooked? Frustrated? Sad? Are you scared? There are so many reasons that we get angry when really truly underneath it there's a softer emotion. We feel vulnerable and exposed, if we go there, but it is necessary to go there in order to help yourself heal and to identify what is producing the anger or the rage because it is showing up and there's more to it than just that.

On the other hand if you feel that that emotion of um that you need to cry you start to feel the sadness you start to feel the overwhelm you feel the tears. If you can let yourself cry, let yourself. I know it's scary if you're not willing to usually do it.

I understand it's a very vulnerable and exposing feeling to cry. You won't you won't cry forever even if it feels like oh my god I have so many tears they just keep coming out. They've been waiting to come out, let yourself cry. Sometimes it means you end up with a headache if you cried a lot and that that's no fun but the tears are a way for your body to release some of that stored emotion so it's time especially if you've been bottling up and suppressing it, it's time. 

Sometimes the biggest problem is we don't feel safe within our own bodies. We don't feel safe within our own self. So even if nobody else is in the room, you still might not feel safe. So if you can, sit yourself down on the floor, sit yourself down in a comfortable place. You can even get to the point where you wrap your arms around yourself as if you're giving yourself a hug. It can be very soothing. And if you're not ready for that yet, that's okay. 

Still letting the tears come up and out is going to be a really good step in the right direction. And yes, it's ideal when we have somebody who really cares about us and who we feel loved and safe with there next to us, but that's not always going to be the case. So if you can get yourself to a comfortable spot, sit down and just say, hey, I'm going to let these tears up and out. I'm going to let the thoughts come. I'm going to let the memories surface. Whatever you feel safe enough to do. I'm not suggesting you have to do it any certain way.

You know yourself best and you do what's best for you. But being able to not block those tears is vital. Again, you may have needed to block them at one time. Some children, when they cry, their parent says you better stop crying. Suck it up. Don't be a baby.

Or the parent can't handle the child's emotions so they send them off to their room. If you're gonna cry, go do that by yourself upstairs. There are reasons why we stop the tears and there are reasons why you may have needed to stop those tears at one point in your life. But my invitation is to you that now is not then. And now is a new season. It's a new time in your life. If you're listening to this podcast, it's because you do want to get yourself to a happier, lighter place. You do want to thrive. And this is one of the ways that I can help you get there is by saying, let the emotions surface as overwhelming as they may seem.

They will not always be as overwhelming. You're gonna be able to manage them more easily. You're gonna be able to understand more what's going on within yourself. And I'm always here to support you. So close. Please reach out if you need me in this process. 

Now I want to talk about the different emotional states and just describe them as I think of them. So I'm going to do that for you in the next episode So stay tuned. And between now and then, take note every day. What physical sensations doyou feel in your body? And what are the thoughts that are running through your mind multiple times a day? 

If you can, start naming the emotions that you're feeling throughout the day. But if you're not there and you're sure, you're not sure yet, you're not sure yet what they are and how to name them, then do those two other things that I said.

And you can also get curious and consider what is going to happen if you allow your emotions to surface. What is it going to mean? What is it going to mean for you and the people around you? How is it going to change your life? Is there anything that you're apprehensive about if you start to let your emotions surface? 

And even take it a step further. What was it like to let your emotions surface when you were a child in the home you grew up in? How was that? I hope this has been helpful. We'll talk again soon. And until then, I am wishing you only the best. And I'm just a message away if you need anything. 

[Ending] We've come to the end. What did you think about what you heard? I hope that there's something you pull from today's episode and start implementing it into your life. Create the change that you want to see, the change that you hear about. You have the opportunity to transform your life. And I'm ready to link arms with you and to help and guide you to the life that you want to live. If you resonated with what you heard today and it touched you, would you share it with your friends? Would you also go ahead and rate my podcast and write a written review? It would mean so much to me. 

I hope that we'll connect, whether it's for a session or, just to connect because I enjoy meeting new people. You can find me on Instagram, @corinne_changeradically⁠, or on Facebook, Change Radically. You can also always email me, corinne@changeradically.com. If you have thoughts, questions, or anything that you just want to talk about, send me an email. 

I hope that you have a wonderful week. But no matter what your week is like, in the moments that are quiet, maybe it's when you pillow your head at night, or when you're driving in the car, or taking a walk, or maybe it's going to be in the midst of the chaos with your children, or the craziness of work. I hope that you'll remember how significant you are, that there is meaning and value to your life, and that I, for one, am so glad that you're alive. 

Catch you again next week.