Learning how to trust yourself

[Intro] Hello and welcome to my podcast, Empowered to Thrive. I'm your host, Corinne Powell. I'm an intuitive guide and I absolutely love helping people to heal from within so that they can create a life that they love, a life that they enjoy. 

We weren't meant to just tolerate and get through life. We were meant to thrive and enjoy the life we're living. Of course, we will have seasons and moments that are difficult and challenging. And the beauty of it is that we can be supported in those moments.

I am here to be an aid and a guide to support you. And I hope that you will enjoy not only today's episode, but some of the past episodes if you haven't heard them yet.

On this podcast, I talk about all things inner wellness. We also sprinkle in some spirituality and parenting because as a mom to three kids, parenting is a big part of my life.

I hope that you enjoy the episode and that there's at least one thing you'll pull from it and start to implement into your own life.

If you want to follow me in other ways, you can find me on Instagram, @corinne_changeradically or on Facebook, Change Radically.

Would you do me a favor and share this podcast with your friends if you hear an episode that resonates with you? And would you also go ahead and give me a rating and review my podcast?

It would mean so much. And I would appreciate it. I hope that you enjoy the episode and that we connect.

Once again I’m sharing parts from a collective session, so you are going to hear excerpts and bits from a larger conversation. Enjoy and if you are interested in participating in future sessions with a small group of other individuals, please reach out to me I would love to have you. 

Corinne Powell: Learning to love ourselves and taking care of ourselves changes life so profoundly. And again, I don't know everybody's experience, but we can learn easily if we do have a parental figure who is not emotionally capable to take care of themselves or to take care of us.

We can learn that to put our own needs aside because we're either trying to make sure everyone else is okay because it makes us feel safer as kids. Like if mom or dad isn't angry and we feel safer. So sometimes as grown adults, the byproduct is we don't honor our own needs because we've learned so well how to put ourself aside.

And that's why we need to go on this journey of learning to keep promises to ourself. And that is like when you feel like I need to take a bath or I need to do something for myself. Honoring that.

And I think I give an example in the video, but it's worth repeating because I'm not sure if I do, that honoring it in a small way is still okay. So even if you sit in that bath for two minutes, that is better than disregarding what you sensed you needed. It actually is better for your brain and your body to say, okay, I honored it and did what I felt like I needed to do. It doesn't matter the length of it. You can grow in how long you do something.

It's just the act of doing it that is extremely powerful. And it's really important for our brains to really not give in to the cognitive dissonance and to say one thing and do something else. To line ourselves up and to do what we say we're going to do is really, really, really important. And good for our brains and our bodies. Yeah.

And take notice when you do that of literally how your body feels. Because for me, it literally feels like a release of tension. Like if all day long I said I wanted to take a walk and I never do, I feel this agitation inside. If I say all day long, I want to take a walk and I make a point, even if it's a short one, I just, it's something about it. That totally changes so many elements for me that I'm like, “Wow, like that was so worth it on so many levels”. So, and, and being, having reasonable expectations of ourselves.

So I don't think, I don't think it's helpful to list 10 things that we need to do. So if you have all these projects, I think settling in on, one, that feels the most fun or the most important to you. And then making a small promise to yourself. Okay. I'm going to get all the supplies ready tomorrow. Reasonable. Something very reasonable. Because another problem can be if we like just set this bar too high or we, then that doesn't, that's not helpful either.

So baby steps. Because we want to create manageable goals for ourselves that we can accomplish and then feel satisfed. It's not a whole room. Like don't, don't plan to clean or declutter a whole room, right? One closet. And maybe that's too much.

I mean, I'm being serious, like let's be reasonable with ourselves and then follow through, we can build on that and our goals can change, but we got to start small if we're not keeping promises to ourselves right now.

Client: My problem was I would get anxiety with like, I'm not a perfectionist, but just having the house look a certain way and you helped me almost do the opposite where you don't need to clean that today and no one's gonna die and it's gonna be fine and to learn to relax and just breathe and just -  I used to literally just go in my younger son's room just stretch on the floor and let them play and like it's fine.

And it took me a long time to like be able to go to sleep and actually rest and now it doesn't like it's helped. It literally doesn't phase me like “oh that's not clean today oh the dishes aren't done”, I'm going back like it's so much better.

Corinne Powell: That's good, I'm glad yeah I like that you trust yourself more you keep the problem. That's powerful. We should be able to trust ourselves most I think out of anyone you because we can't we can't decide who else is going to show up how dependable they're going to be but if we know we're going to show up for ourselves and we're dependable for our own self, wow like that's a big deal.

Sometimes it's also in the practice of like, branching out and saying “I think this is what I'm sensing. I think this is maybe what's somebody else needs or what I need” and then when we follow through we're practicing and we actually fine-tune it like “oh yeah that was right or that is what I needed” and and then that grows our trust too. 

I know it can be really hard um if you are someone who feels like you're intuitive but you've brought things up to people and they deny your sense but because of their own guilt, their own reasons, their own experiences. That can it can test it can really disrupt your own trust of yourself.

For example, I think if you if you feel like someone's having a hard day and you say “Hey you know just I just want to know how you're doing” -  like you you feel like they need someone to know that you care but then hey brush it off like “I'm fine” because they feel uncomfortable or ashamed and then you might walk away feeling like “oh man I thought I was sensing that but I guess I wasn't”. 

I'm bringing that up only to say don't allow that story to impact you speaking up again in another situation with someone else because it doesn't always mean that you were off it doesn't always mean you weren't sensing correctly. Sometimes it is honestly just the other person isn't in a place where they feel comfortable enough to talk to open up. 

Because again we're always going to internalize some sort of story but we get to take charge of what story we internalize, what story we tell ourselves when we have these experiences with people. 

Yeah because there was one time you came to join me for a session and you offered me a coffee you texted me do I want anything from Starbucks. I think and that morning I was really hoping for a coffee but I didn't have time on the way from bringing my kids back from school and I remember thinking like “oh see everything was lined up for me like I didn't have time. I never told you that but like now that you're bringing it up I'm like oh yeah I remember yeah that was right on.

Yeah I know little things like I was at Panera yesterday, this lady was in front of me with an elderly woman and the way she interacted with the woman was so full of loving care and she didn't care how long it was taking to order the woman wanted to add on a pastry after they had already like checked out and she was so gentle and deliberate about how she interacted and later on I told her like I don't I don't know if it's your mom or who you're with but the way you interact with her is so loving and it really touched me.

And she was like “thank you for telling me that” but I could have easily not told her that and I realized as I told her it like it really did something good for her to hear that, so you're right like we can create a story that “oh she already knows that or she doesn't need to hear that” or I can just say what I think my heart wants to express and then see that actually that touched her in a beautiful way like we were all affected she affected me I affected her like it's it's a good thing.

[Ending] We've come to the end. What did you think about what you heard? I hope that there's something you pull from today's episode and start implementing it into your life. Create the change that you want to see, the change that you hear about. You have the opportunity to transform your life and I'm ready to link arms with you and to help and guide you to the life that you want to live.

If you resonated with what you heard today and it touched you would you share it with your friends would you also go ahead and rate my podcast and write a written review? It would mean so much to me.

I hope that we'll connect whether it's for a session or just to connect because I enjoy meeting new people. You can find me on Instagram @corinne_changeradically or on Facebook Change Radically you can also always email me corinne@changeradically.com 

If you have thoughts questions or anything that you just want to talk about send me an email. 

I hope that you have a wonderful week but no matter what your week is like, in the moments that are quiet maybe it's when you pillow your head at night or when you're driving in the car or taking a walk or maybe it's going to be in the midst of the chaos with your children or the craziness of work. 

I hope that you'll remember how significant you are that there is meaning and value to your life and that I for one am so glad that you're alive. 

Catch you again next week