Trauma Doesn't Have to Traumatize

[Intro] Hello and welcome to my podcast, Empowered to Thrive. I'm your host, Corinne Powell. I'm an intuitive guide and I absolutely love helping people to heal from within so that they can create a life that they love, a life that they enjoy.

We weren't meant to just tolerate and get through life. We were meant to thrive and enjoy the life we're living. Of course, we will have seasons and moments that are difficult and challenging.

And the beauty of it is that we can be supported in those moments. I am here to be an aid and a guide to support you. And I hope that you will enjoy not only today's episode, but some of the past episodes if you haven't heard them yet.

On this podcast, I talk about all things inner wellness. We also sprinkle in some spirituality and parenting because as a mom to three kids, parenting is a big part of my life. I hope that you enjoy the episode and that there's at least one thing you'll pull from it and start to implement into your own life.

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Let's talk about how traumatic situations don't necessarily have to traumatize us. Have you considered that before that you can go through something traumatic and not be traumatized? This is actually the complexity of life and living because we are going to be faced with traumatic situations if we are alive. But we don't have to be traumatized every time we walk through a traumatic situation.

So let me explain what I mean. And as usual, I'm going to use my own life experiences to explain. A year ago, my husband had an accident on a job. He is an arborist. He takes care of trees. He is like a tree doctor. But there are times he needs to take down trees for various reasons. And he uses his body to climb and get up into a tree oftentimes instead of using a piece of equipment to do that. 

So one day last summer, he was about 60 feet up in a tree and the worst case scenario happened. Basically, he looked at the job. He said, if the worst case scenario happens, here's what it would be. Unfortunately, it happened.

He told me just a few days ago when I was asking him how he felt about all this, you know, how he felt about being a year later. And it was a serious accident and his recovery could have been the injuries and the recovery could have been much worse. I mean, he could have clearly lost his life even.

So there was so much that didn't go as it could have, and yet it was still a very serious accident. So basically, you know, in hindsight, he said, I look at worst case scenario different than I did because now I know it's not just the worst case. It actually could happen.

And he considers things just a little differently. He had done everything he needed to do, but the tree had reasons for what happened and what happened happened. So his injuries took time to heal. And what that meant for me was not only was my husband in a hospital for a few nights during the pandemic. So visiting hours, thankfully, were available to me at that time, but they were limited. 

He was at an out. It was at a hospital that was an hour from our home. And of course, I needed to figure out child care for my children and with my chronic fatigue to lose sleep like I did the first night sets me back very quickly. So not only did I want to be a support to my husband, I wanted to make sure my children had what they needed.

But I also needed to figure out how I could have what I needed. And here's the difference. In the past, I would have walked through a situation such as that, not thinking about what I needed.

My focus would have been on what everyone else needed, and I would have totally ignored myself. So it took an extra level of energy to focus on what I needed as well. What that meant is I took space and time to make sure I decompressed, to make sure I still had movement for my body, whether that was through swimming in the pool or taking walks.

I reached out for support and accepted the help that was coming to me through the form of meals that friends would drop off and friends that would watch my children for a few hours or take my children for a few hours. And it was different than how I would have previously walked through an experience because, like I said, I would have made sure everyone else had what they needed. But I wouldn't have reached out and accepted all the offers of help.

I wouldn't have even known what to do with all the offers of help. I would have known we need things, but I wouldn't have known how to utilize the help that was coming to me. And it was really an evidence of my inner healing and forward movement to be able to walk through that traumatic experience and nurture myself through it and take care of myself through it.

And I reminded my past self that it wasn't going to be like it had been. I reminded my body that it wasn't going to be like it had been in the past. I told myself I was going to take care of me through this.

And as much as that felt selfish, I knew that in order to not be the worst off down the road and in order to walk this out in a way that was actually for my benefit and for my body's good, for my mental well-being, for my emotional health, for my physical well-being, I needed to walk this out taking time that felt selfish because it was my means of thriving and surviving. That was transformative. I healed myself through the process.

Make note of that because we are all given opportunities to heal ourselves, to transform ourselves. It's what will we do with the opportunities presented to us? This isn't something I would have wished on my family or would have wished on my husband. No, by no means.

I don't sit here saying that the things that come up in our life that allow us to walk out our healing are always comfortable or good, but I do think we can all use them for our benefit. Don't dismiss your feelings. Don't dismiss your grief.

I needed to scream and cry on the hour drive to the hospital and back. For any females listening, in the middle of that week, I got my period too. It was a week that I was already going through something that was draining and exhausting and I was more fatigued because my body was on my period.

So it was stressor upon stressor, but I released the stress through the tears, through the feeling. I sang songs because that helps me to connect with myself and to release my tension. I reached out to friends.

I remember the first night in the hospital, my husband was being taken, he was in the ER and he was being taken in for an x-ray or a CAT scan and I went outside and called a friend. What was I going to do? Just wait in the room where he wasn't? No, I'm going to go outside. I'm going to walk around. I'm going to call a friend, but let me tell you, that was uncomfortable. 

I was reaching out to a friend when I kind of felt like, shouldn't I be a support to my husband right now? But really, what was I going to do to support him? He was being taken care of by the doctors and nurses and I needed to take care of me. Of course, the friend I called had nothing but compassion and love for me and was there to listen.

And I really, really appreciate each one of my friends that was there for me during that time. And I didn't even used to have friends that I would depend on. That's what codependency produces. You become self-reliant, self-sufficient, and you don't even depend on friends the way that you otherwise could. So I was learning new things through this experience. 

I was actually walking out my healing. And that is why it was transformative. I walked out untraumatized by something that was traumatic. My husband could have died and I knew the reality of that. And I felt surrounded by peace and love. I felt the presence of angels helping me and my family and my husband. It was difficult and beautiful all at the same time.

Life offers that. Life offers us gifts in the middle of hardships. Will we see them? Will we accept them? That's up to each of us, but they are available.

We don't always have a perspective to see it, but I still believe that they are available. And those gifts came in the form of all sorts of things, whether it was the food dropped off or the babysitting that was offered for a couple hours here or there, whether it was, there were so many things that I can't even recall all of them. And me and Evan had walked through situations in the past, friends, that we had reached out.

We had tried to get help and help just wasn't what we needed. But this time around, it was different. And a part of me truly believes it's because I allowed in help that I wouldn't have allowed in, in the past.

A part of me really thinks that the healing that I had been receiving and actively participating in before that point helped me to get through it. I'm sure of that. I'm sure of that. There's no doubt in my mind. So I sit here today grateful, so very grateful for my husband and his health. For the friends and the family and the support that we had.

For the opportunity to walk through a situation and experience life very differently. I'm so grateful that I can see I'm not who I once was, not because I don't love her. My past self did the best she could. I embrace her and I hold compassion for her. But I'm grateful that I don't have to live the way I used to live because it really sucked. 

It was an uncomfortable, unhappy way of living. I didn't have inner peace. I didn't have real, true, intense joy. I didn't know what it was to play and be curious and be comfortable.

Not only in my body, but in my head. To not overthink, that's a huge gift. I used to overthink and mull over things and I still do sometimes. But my way of living is very different than it once was. And it creates such a beauty. Life feels more beautiful.

Life looks different to me because of my own personal healing and transformation. I want you to know that whether you're going through something traumatic right now, or whether it's coming in the future, you don't have to be traumatized by something you walk through that's traumatic. And if you have past trauma that is unresolved and still affecting you in a negative way, I welcome you to set up a session to speak with me, whether that's over Zoom or in my office.

I would be honored to sit and hear your experiences and help you find peace and healing so that you too can feel like you're not just surviving life, but that you're enjoying it. That you're getting to a place that you feel like you're thriving. That life feels beautiful. That life feels good. You should get to experience a life that you enjoy. And I am here to support you and help you get to that place. Until next week, wishing you wellness and all the best. 

[Ending] We've come to the end. What did you think about what you heard? I hope that there's something you pull from today's episode and start implementing it into your life.

Create the change that you want to see, the change that you hear about. You have the opportunity to transform your life. And I'm ready to link arms with you and to help and guide you to the life that you want to live.

If you resonated with what you heard today and it touched you, would you share it with your friends? Would you also go ahead and rate my podcast and write a written review? It would mean so much to me. 

I hope that we'll connect, whether it's for a session or just to connect because I enjoy meeting new people. You can find me on Instagram, @corinne_changeradically⁠, or on Facebook, Change Radically. You can also always email me, corinne@changeradically.com. If you have thoughts, questions, or anything that you just want to talk about, send me an email. 

I hope that you have a wonderful week, but no matter what your week is like, in the moments that are quiet, maybe it's when you pillow your head at night or when you're driving in the car or taking a walk, or maybe it's going to be in the midst of the chaos with your children or the craziness of work. I hope that you'll remember how significant you are, that there is meaning and value to your life.

And that I, for one, am so glad that you're alive.

Catch you again next week.