The apology you might need to hear

[Intro] Hello there. I'm so happy that you are taking this time out for yourself and I'm thrilled to be with you. Welcome to Empowered to Thrive. I'm your host, Corinne Powell. If this is your first time tuning in and you and I haven't connected in other ways, then I hope that this episode speaks to you, but it is especially for the person who has been tracking with me for a while or knows me outside of this space and might be tuning in for the first time today.

Corinne Powell: I want to apologize. In the last couple weeks, I felt a stirring in my heart to simply say, I am sorry for the times where I acted like I knew it all. I knew the answer. For the times that I came across as if I had arrived and I was telling you the way to go because I knew the way, because I had already experienced it.

I'm sorry if you've ever felt that I was coming to you from a place of knowing it all, not owning up to my mistakes but simply pointing out yours. Because I know in many relationships, and especially over the years in the past, I've done that so many times. I've done it unaware that I'm doing it. I've done it with the best intentions, but it is still not right. 

And it grieves me to think about the people I've hurt along the way. My hope has always been to help. But I know there are times that people have been hurt by me along the way. I've been insensitive. I've been unaware of myself and how people are experiencing me.

And of course, there's a part to this where I'm just doing the best I can, the best I know how, I'm growing and evolving. That means who I was a year ago, who I was three weeks ago, or six years ago isn't who I am today. And I give myself a lot of permission to make mistakes along the way. And I would say the same for you. Give yourself permission to make mistakes along the way.

But when I felt this stirring in my heart to bring this up, I know there's a reason for that. I don't know the reason. I don't know who especially needs to know that I am sorry. But if that's you, I say it deeply with all of my heart. It doesn't mean you won't be hurt by me in the future. It doesn't mean I won't come across that way in the future, I might. But my intention is to let go of even more judgment, to let go of more criticism, to offer to others what I hope they offer to me: the benefit of the doubt, eyes that see them love and acceptance. That I'll be able to always convey, no judgment for where you're at because where you're at is exactly you're supposed to be right now. 

That doesn't mean that there's not room for growth, that you don't have regrets, that it couldn't be different. Of course it could be different. There's always room for growth. But I don't want to come from a place of judgment when I look at you, when I think about you, when I speak to you. I do hope that you can feel from me - full acceptance and genuine care. And it feels appropriate at this moment to also acknowledge that I'm sorry on behalf of anyone else who's hurt you. Maybe you haven't been hurt by me, but maybe you've been hurt by many other people and judged by other people, looked at with eyes of criticism.

I'm so sorry. How painful that can be. How crushing. When you're doing the best you can, the best you know how. And all someone sees is how you could improve, how you could be better, be different. This is a moment in time where we should put aside shame and criticism. We should put aside judgment and regret and open our arms to ourselves with love, forgiveness, compassion, looking to understand the heart. 

How am I doing? To ask yourself that question? How am I doing? What do I need? How can I take care of myself better? Ask yourselves those questions. Ask yourself that often and take action based on what feedback you get. Your body deserves your care. Your heart deserves your compassion. Every part of you will do better and be better when you are gentle towards it. Not pitying yourself, not giving yourself an out to say, just too hard. It's too much. I can't do it. 

That's not at all what I mean. But oftentimes, compassion and understanding, acknowledgement with kindness, helps to move us forward, helps us to be able to get up from where we're at and feel a little bit more empowered, a little bit more energized to go do the thing we need to do or deep down we want to do.

So I won't make this long and drawn out, but I am sorry on behalf of myself and on behalf of others that have criticized and judged you, that have made it seem like...They're better than you. And if you could only be like them, well, then you would be fine. I'm so sorry if I ever came across that way. It's not been my intention. But still. I'm deeply apologetic for any time that I conveyed that in some sort of way.

I'm on the journey with you. I experienced the ups and downs with you. I'm evolving and changing along the way. I’m learning as I go. And I'm sharing what I learn as I go. I'm sharing vulnerably and transparently, and sometimes that is the messy part of it. I'm not waiting till it's all packaged up with a pretty bow and then delivering it to you. I'm coming to you when things are sometimes a mess and out of control. When I am just making it through.

But that's truly my gift to you. I want you to be able to see what it is, what real life is like. It's messy and beautiful all at the same time. There's moments of stress and moments of rest. It's okay to figure it out as you go.

[Outro] Thank you for hearing my heart. Thank you for having understanding and compassion towards me. Thank you for accepting me where I'm at and offering to me what I offer to you. I appreciate that so much. I appreciate you being here. and I'll talk to you again soon. Much love, my friends.