Knowing your core values: how to live out the lifestyle you want

[Intro] Hello and welcome to Empowered to Thrive. I'm your host Corinne Powell. I'm so glad you're here.

No matter what type of day you're having, you're always welcome. I like having you around. This space is especially designed for the person who goes about life focused on everyone else while neglecting their own needs.

The person who says yes when inwardly they want to say no. The person who is frustrated at all they do because they don't receive much in return. If that's you, I'm going to put out some great ideas on how you can change those patterns and get unstuck.

Life isn't meant to be tolerated. It should be enjoyed. So let's get to it.

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Corinne Powell: Hello, hello. Happy to be having conversation with you again. Wouldn't it be better if we could have a back and forth? I would love that.

Today, I want to bring up the topic of values and how we can understand what our own values and what are the values of someone else that we might be living by.

It is okay if you live by someone else's values, as long as you're doing it consciously and you are happy with that choice. Sometimes we live by the values of our parental figures, of the people in our life who are important to us, the ones that we look up to, and we're not even aware that we're doing it.

Living consciously is important. Much better than going on autopilot, never considering and reflecting, never questioning.

I don't know about you, but I was taught to not question a lot of things, to simply listen and take heed. Scary way to live. What that means is the person who's saying that is afraid of something. I wouldn't know what they're afraid of. You'd have to ask them. They might not know themselves what they're afraid of. But if we aren't willing to question something, there could be a lot of things below the surface, but certainly fear is there.

Because what will happen if we question something? Ooh, we've opened up a can of worms. Anyhow, the topic of hand is not that. It is actually getting to know what are your values? What's important to you? Are you living your life after what's important to you? Or are you going on autopilot? And have you actually spent a little time reflecting and journaling about what some of your core values are? And then are you aligning your life with those values? I always go back to this. 

Family. Is family a core value of yours? Are you making space and time to deeply connect and be with your family? Do you make them a priority? Would they sit back and say, yes, I am a priority to this person? Because you might think you make them a priority, but really, it's how they feel, that's gonna be a true indicator of how well you're doing in that regard. Sometimes we could say, I love so and so. Okay, I'm not disbelieving you, but do they feel your love? Because you might be trying to love them in a way that they aren't able to receive the love from you. You know how some people would say there's five different love languages, whether there is or not. If somebody enjoys receiving gifts and another person enjoys having time spent with them, to give them the gifts when they want the time spent, they're not gonna feel loved by receiving the gift. They're gonna feel loved by you spending time with them.So if your goal is, to love someone, find out how they feel loved, and then show up for them in that way.

So we're not gonna take too much time to talk about this, because it's really gonna be in what you do after you turn off this recording. Sitting and reflecting on what are some of the things that are most important to me? What are some of my core values? The things that I would stand by, that I would die by, that I would live for. The things that fire you up, that motivate you, and that you're passionate about.

The things that are impacting the ways you navigate your life and why you say yes to certain things and why you say no to other things. Those type of questions will help you figure out what are some of your core values. And then where have those values originated from? Are they the ones of the parental figures you had growing up with? Is there someone you deeply respect to hold some of those same values? Are they socially acceptable? So you've adopted them. Where have your values come from? And then giving yourself plenty of time. This doesn't need to all happen within 30 minutes to actually reflect on whether or not you're happy with these values. Do you wish they were different? Are they serving you? Are they serving the people that you care about? Can the non-negotiables actually change? Why are they non-negotiables up to this point?

Notice the discomfort you might feel within yourself, the physical sensations, you might have a churning in your stomach, you might have a tightness in your chest or in your shoulder blades. Just take notice of what's going on in your body as you're reflecting and considering these things. And then start to witness yourself in your life. You say you're living by this value system, but does your life reflect that? Would someone on the outside be able to easily tell that? Can you be honest with yourself? 

If not, it's okay. Take time. Allow this process to take days, perhaps weeks, but be mindful of it. Not because you forgot, but because you're like deliberately reflecting and noticing yourself, the ways you interact, what you say, what you do behind closed doors. Huge, huge indicator of what our true values are. What do we do when nobody's watching? Or when the people closest to us are there, but the other people outside are.

And do you need support in helping to perhaps reevaluate or change? I'm here for you. I can help you with that. I don't need to tell you what to do. That's not my goal. You have plenty of your own inner wisdom. But if you're needing a guide and a support, I am very happy to be that. So between now and next week, take that time, start to notice and reflect what are the things I say are most important to me or what in my heart of hearts do I know is most important to me? And am I aligning my life in that way? If not, how can I start? Slowly, gradually one new thing at a time. If you realize that you have four values that were somebody else's values and not your own, or four things that you say, this is how I live, and then you ask the people closest to you and they're like, no. 

You say your health is a high priority of yours, but you don't make time to move and you don't eat well. I mean, then your health is probably not a high priority. Those are some core ways to support yourself in a healthy way. Again, it could be all sorts of things. I'm gonna let you sit and reflect. If you wanna share anything that you come to recognize and understand with me, I'd love to hear. You can send me an email at corinne@changeradically.com

[Outro] We've come to the end of another episode. I'm so glad you stuck around. As you consider what you've heard, what's the one thing that especially resonated with you? What's one way you can start to implement change into your life? Too much too soon isn't sustainable.

Start small and go slow. Consistency is key. If you appreciate what you're hearing on Empower to Thrive, would you kindly leave me a review and rate my podcast? It helps a lot.

I hope you'll share the episode with a friend and come back next week. And don't forget, I'm so glad you're alive.