Slow-living: how to change the pace of your life

[Intro] Hello and welcome to Empowered to Thrive. I'm your host Corinne Powell. I'm so glad you're here.

No matter what type of day you're having, you're always welcome. I like having you around. This space is especially designed for the person who goes about life focused on everyone else while neglecting their own needs.

The person who says yes when inwardly they want to say no. The person who is frustrated at all they do because they don't receive much in return. If that's you, I'm going to put out some great ideas on how you can change those patterns and get unstuck.

Life isn't meant to be tolerated. It should be enjoyed. So let's get to it.

Corinne Powell: Hello there, new friend, long time friend. I'm happy to have you. Today we are going to dive into slow living. And I wanna start by giving you a little backstory. My pace of life was nothing like slow in the past. It was intense. It was very, very, very rushed and overwhelming. I jam-packed a lot of things into a day. I committed and said yes to everything that I was asked without thought. And I honestly felt like it was normal to have a day stacked with expectations where there was no wiggle room. If you were running late to something, it meant everything was going to get bumped.

And interestingly enough, my husband has helped me to recognize that there's another way to living. Years ago, I began to appreciate slowing down the pace. But I think it can be scary to slow down the pace if we're afraid of what's going to come up when we slow down. Because, you know, think about those times when you've been going, going, going, and then you finally sit down. That's when you notice how your body aches or how exhausted you are. Or you're rushing around with your kids and you finally get in the car to head where you're going and you realize, gosh, I'm thirsty, I'm hungry.

We don't always recognize what's going on deeper until we pause, until we slow things down. Sometimes we pillow our heads at night and then all the thoughts come rushing in, the worries. We start to feel anxious and overwhelmed. If we give ourselves time to consider all of this, to notice this as we're going through our days, and we give ourselves space to attend to our it will look and feel and be a completely different experience.

Now, perhaps you're listening and saying, I don't want that. I'm happy with my life. That's okay. This talk is probably for those of you that are really interested to know how you can also incorporate slow living. Because I'm going to talk about the benefits. I'm going to talk about the ways you can go about changing your lifestyle patterns.

But even if you're happy with your life and you're curious to hear the difference from one pace to another, stick with me because I'm going to lay it out there for you.

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Corinne Powell: So like I shared, I used to have no margin, no space for taking breaks, for being late. No space for making it on time, should say, because if there was traffic, we were going to be late because I didn't give us extra time, because I didn't even consider that we might need extra time.

A jam-packed schedule feels like a lot of fun to some people. But have you ever considered what a less packed schedule might be like? You see, it'll offer you space for nothingness. Time for your hobbies. Time for relationships. You'll be able to interact with your children and your partner and your friends more often. You'll be able to engage in the activities that are fun for you, that recharge you. You'll be able to take notice of the beauty around you.

I was taking a walk just this week and I noticed a praying mantis. And I stopped and just looked at it. And I noticed the intricacy of the colors on its back. I could have stayed there a lot longer. I watched it for at least a minute. And he was just chilling. And I thought about recording the moment. And I was like, no, I'm just going to be in the moment. But I was able to notice details about it that I wouldn't have in my fast-paced way of living. 

Mindfulness becomes a natural byproduct to slow living. Self-care becomes a natural byproduct to slow living. Improving your relationships or at least investing in your relationships becomes a natural byproduct when you're living at a slower pace. Slow living offers you so many things that you can't have in the hustle and the bustle of life. 

For me, as I recognized what my true values were, not the values of my family of origin, not the values of other people, but my own values, and I would say the values of my husband as well, because as we started to do life together, obviously who he is and how he goes about living, his values, became rubbed off on me because I became more aware of them because I started living around somebody who was modeling something different. You see what's modeled to us, we start to pick up on. It's not because we try to, it's a natural byproduct. 

You know that saying “more is caught than taught” and “actions speak louder than words”? So much truth to those statements.  What we observe by what's modeled to us. That's what's truly impacting us. That's what we start to craft our life after. So observing Evan certainly impacted me. But then as I've gone on my own healing journey more, you know, deeper, because I started it fresh out of high school, but over the years I've tried out new modalities and gone through a journey where there's times where I'm really doing some deep work and other times maintaining it.

What I've learned is what my values are. I've actually given myself the permission to change, to evolve. That's impacted my values. Now I know one of my values is relationships. I have a high value for investing in relationships, for going deep and being a true friend. I've always lived that way, but I used to be a friend to everyone. That's the people pleaser in me. And it wasn't that it was inauthentic. It was simply that if you're a friend to everyone, you don't have time to take care of yourself because there's always needs. And you see, I was meeting the needs of people, and actually attaching myself to friends who were so needy that they weren't able to support me because they needed me to support them. So I gravitated towards people that had a lot of needs. And I was just simply the friend who took care of those needs. 

That is not to say that I didn't have friends offered the same to me. I had some relationships where I was a give-and-take. It was mutually beneficial. And I'm so grateful for those friends that loved me well, that had the capacity and were aware enough to know that friendship should be a two-way street. Are there seasons in life, are there times when any one of us can't give as much as another person? Of course, that's reasonable. I understand that. But when that's the normal, that someone can't give to us as much as we give to them, it's worth considering. 

Children are not intended to give to their parents. They're there as a dependent. But at some point relationships change, even parent-child relationships, where it's no longer a parent being everything that the child needs, but it's more of a mutually beneficial relationship as adults. Friendships, however, romantic relationships, they shouldn't look or feel like parent -child relationships. And I mean the young child, not the adult child. I think some friendships certainly could look like adult child and parent relationships.

So slow living. It's so easy to get distracted. There's so much here to be talked about. And I'm going to try to stay on track for your sake. Where can you start if you are busy, constantly on the go, overwhelmed by your schedule? Start by removing one thing. Look at your life, reflect and consider what are your values? What is important to you? Does your schedule, your lifestyle align with what you say your values are? So if your family is a high value to yours and you work all the time, then something isn't lining up.

If your family is a high value of yours and you adjust your work schedule so that you can also have family time, I understand. You're making a living and you're living your life. Because if we make a living but we never live, what's the point? We use that phrase “I’m making a living”. But what's the point of life? It's not to work all the time. 

At least to me, you're talking to someone who is very relational, who believes that we're on the planet to relate to other human beings. I like people. I want to be around people. It does not mean I always want to be around people. But in general, I think people are wonderful, beautiful. They are made of so much goodness. Maybe that's what you need to hear in this moment. That who you are is good. You're here for a purpose and a reason. I say it at the end of every episode, but let me repeat it right now. I'm glad you're alive. Maybe I don't know you, but I'm glad you're alive.

So, slow living offers us the space to connect with people, to consider what is the point of life and are we living in a way that allows us to enjoy life? Do we have our children in sports because we want them to be in those sports or because they want to be in those sports? What are we modeling for our kids? Are we modeling that it's go, go, go? There's never time for nothingness? It's actually healthy and good for us to feel that boredom sometimes. For us to just be alone in stillness. For us not to be constantly scrolling or always having music on. Always needing noise.

It can be really uncomfortable to be in the stillness to feel that boredom. But just because it's uncomfortable doesn't mean it's not good. Many things that are good are uncomfortable, at least initially, until they become a practice, until they become a lifestyle. So when my children will talk about, “I don't have anything to do mom”, or “I'm bored”, as all children say at some point or another, I remind them that's okay. Maybe I make suggestions, maybe I ask them what suggestions they have. Maybe there is something for them to do in that moment, or maybe there's not. But I know I've had to learn how to be comfortable within nothingness, how to sit in a bathtub without my phone for a couple minutes and just relax, how to go on a walk without carrying my phone, without being preoccupied by it so that I can actually take in what's around me and enjoy it.

I've had to learn how to sit on my porch and just watch cars go by or just sit with my thoughts, sit with my wonderings. I've had to learn how to be okay with silence when you're sitting with somebody and there's no talking going on, just being comfortable with the silence. All of this becomes very natural and very comfortable as you go about slow living. You're going to have time to enjoy life. You're to be able to align your life with your values.

You're going to become more mindful and start to notice more about you and more about what's going on around you. I believe overall that enhances life, that it enhances our relationships, it gives us something richer. For anyone that thinks riches is all about the finances. I am here to say it is so much more. A rich life is a life full of moments of nothingness, of bliss. Of moments relating with family and friends. And I recognize not all relationships are ideal. Perhaps the idea of relating with your family turns you off. I respect that. I understand that. But who is the person in your life who you could enjoy spending time with? Who you don't get to spend as much time as you'd like with? Think about being with that person more. 

What is the hobby that you enjoy doing that you don't get to do as much as you'd like? Think about having more time for that. What is the pace of your life? How could it be different? How could it be slower? How could it be better? I hope you'll sit with ideas. Sit with the questions. Allow yourself to simply reflect. And if I sparked anything in you that says, think I want to try that out, you should. Give it a try. 

You can always go back to your busy, hectic, chaotic lifestyle. And I say that with no judgment. That's the life I used to live. But it was busy, it was hectic, it was chaotic. Think about even just getting out the door when it's rush rush versus when it’s like, “we're relaxed”

And we don't have five things happening today. We have one or two things happening today. We have downtime. Think about that. What would it be like to live that life? If you're already living it, you know the goodness that's in. You know the benefits. Until next week, go enjoy some moments of nothingness.

[Outro] We've come to the end of another episode. I'm so glad you stuck around. As you consider what you've heard, what's the one thing that especially resonated with you? What's one way you can start to implement change into your life? Too much too soon isn't sustainable.

Start small and go slow. Consistency is key. If you appreciate what you're hearing on Empowered to Thrive, would you kindly leave me a review and rate my podcast? It helps a lot.

I hope you'll share the episode with a friend and come back next week. And don't forget, I'm so glad you're alive.