Perks of the Healing Journey

[Intro] Hi and welcome to my podcast. I'm your host, Corinne Powell. I'm an intuitive guide and the owner of Change Radically. My intention both here and in private sessions, is to come alongside you in a way that feels safe and empowering. So many of us are experiencing similar things and feeling common emotions, but we won't know that unless we talk about it. I specialize in helping people pleasers change patterns and create a life they feel good about. Life should not be consumed by doing things you feel obligated to do.

Do you want to feel a lot less frustrated than stop living in a way that benefits everyone else at your expense? Empowered to thrive as a place of safety, Conversations focus on topics that impact our mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Parenting comes up too, because I'm a mom to four kids and it's natural for me to talk about the impact that has on life.

The bottom line, you're always welcome here, no matter what type of day you're having. Your friends and their friends are welcome too. Please share the podcast. Let's create a place of community and connection that is saturated by authenticity and transparency.

I'll start now on today's episode.

It's always good to be with you, and this week we're going to talk about the benefits of going on the healing journey.

Perhaps you're already on it, maybe you're experiencing some of these benefits, or perhaps you're on the healing journey dissatisfied or nervous. That may be the result someone else gets, but you're not going to get it.

Here is what my heart wants you to know. It takes time. There are ups and downs. But rest assured, you will start to experience some of the things you've been hoping for that you're hearing me or other people talk about. Oftentimes we can't even see the change that's happening within us. But other people can sometimes tell changes happening within you because of what happens on the outside.

So you are changing. Things are turning for your good. It will not always be as hard as it might be today. I've been at this for almost two decades. I recognize it is so layered. There's so much to the healing journey, and in the moments, I have periods where I don't go back to where I used to be because it's a different layer. But I have to remind myself in those times that feel dark and difficult that I'm going to come through them and I'm going to be changed as I come through them.

We've changed as we go through these experiences. We don't come out the same as we did when you go through a low point and you come out of it. You were changing in the middle of it, even if you can't tell. You'll have to take my word for it.

Give yourself time. Healing takes time. But let me get to it. 

What are some of the things you can expect on the healing journey? First off, you're going to be able to show up as your authentic self more and more comfortably.

If you're anything like me, I used to walk into a room, wondering what everyone was thinking of me, and change who I was and how I showed up to try and make everyone else comfortable. With hopes that everyone would be happy with me or would like me. Most of that was subconscious. I wasn't thinking about all those things, but underneath the surface, that's what was going on.

Over time, again, without me even realizing it. healing was happening and I was more and more comfortable in my own body with myself, so I was able to show up and be me without the same amount of shame. Without the fear, and having to apologize less and less. 

I used to say I'm sorry all the time. I was sorry for just being me. Why does that happen? Oftentimes when we are very young before we even remember, things happened when we were little, that impacted us tremendously.

We don't even remember. We learn what makes our caregivers, our parental figures, happy, and our goal in life really, truly is to be accepted, to be loved, and even better, to be liked.

We notice especially certain personalities, certain types of people more than others are going to be connected and in tune with our caregiver's facial expressions. What their attitudes are towards us, they're emotional states.

But what we don't recognize as kids is there's so much playing into why our parents or our caregivers show up the way they are.

It's not all about us, but we think it is.It's a very childlike thing to walk into a room and think it's all about us. The more we grow emotionally the hope is that we recognize everything isn't about us. People are talking, but they're probably talking about something not related to us, and there are a lot of us adults that still think everything's about us, and I don't say that critically I'm only shining light on that to say, as we heal, we worry less about what other people think. We don't internalize everyone's reactions, emotional states, or facial expressions as a reflection of us. We recognize, no, you know what, this is a lot about them, maybe they're having a difficult day. Maybe they're emotionally activated and dysregulated, so they're showing up in the relationship, because of what's going on behind the scenes or deep within them. It isn't because of us, even if you were to say yeah, but when I get flustered so this person near me like another adult, OK, you aren't to blame for their dysregulation. Sometimes people only know how to mirror what someone else is doing and they don't know how to regulate on their own and there's so much interwoven into this. We don't learn how to regulate on our own if initially there was no one to Co regulate us.

As a little kid, we need someone to notice you're having a hard time, we're disappointed and to meet us in our emotional state and to sit with us in that place basically saying I understand or I feel, I feel your disappointment. And then to help us come back to Joy after we get him able to feel our feelings, to say, well, let's go, let's go and jump on the trampoline now, or let's go read a book together. That's a way to help a child return to joy because you don't want to shut down their emotional expression, but they also don't need to stay stuck in it. And when they're young, they need someone to help them. Now you might say, gosh, like I'm not a little kid, but I feel like I need help too, to come out of the places I'm stuck emotionally. Well, we all do, especially if we didn't have that model to us, that Co regulation model to us when we were young. Now we have to figure it out like we don't know how to return to joy. We don't know how to go from, we don't know how to let our emotions pass through us because it takes about 90 seconds and scientifically for an emotion to like, start and then pass through and dissipate.

This came up for me the other day. I was disappointed about something and super tired. And I hadn't fed my baby. I didn't nurse my baby. So I was like, I'm gonna go lay down and take a nap. Then I realized like 90 seconds later I was like, oh, I feel like joining the crowd again. And I did like, really, I just needed to allow those feelings to be there. I didn't have to like to make a big decision based on them. Like, Nope, I'm opting out on this crowd. I'm going to take a nap. No, I just need to let them pass through and then go doing what I wanted to do again.

So, Co-regulation is something we have to learn early on or learn in adulthood. Reparenting. Becoming the wise loving adult we always needed to have. We just become that for ourselves. And if you don't know what to do, reach out to me or someone else who can help you on the healing journey. That's the whole point of this. We're not meant to do it alone.

So one of the benefits of going on the healing journey is learning, learning how to be authentic, show up, and be able to be comfortable being yourself. Not feeling like, oh, I'm too big and too vibrant or I don't know, I don't know how to show up and. You know, I like to be to show up and feel like I have something to contribute. Most of the feelings that we experience, the underlying beliefs which affect, you know, these, these things affect the way that we think, the way that we feel, the way that we function. Most of it is often based on the home environment we grew up in, the parental figures, we had the caregivers in our life that we spent a lot of time with, and how these individuals modeled to us. Is what conditions us to become who we are now. Can we unlearn, relearn, cand change, mindsets, patterns, and ays of living? Of course, at any time we can. That's the beauty. It's the beauty of the way the brain and the body work. It's a wonderful thing. I'm very different than who I was 18 years ago when I started on this journey, extremely different. Many of my clients that I work with are very different than who they were even three years ago. It takes intention, but it's all possible.

So you're going to learn also that piece of self-regulation, how to learn Co-regulation so you can self-regulate. And that just really means being able to, I mean, I guess this term kind of sounds a little bit unemotional, but to manage your emotions to feel like you're empowered and able to decide how you want to show up, and how you want to live your life because sometimes our emotions rule the roost. It's like we let them take over, and we let them run the show which I get it, I understand it but we lose out a lot when that happens. It doesn't have to be that way.

All around, you're going to be able to experience more inner peace, and more joy as you go on the healing journey. It's a byproduct of all these other things even talking about. It will not mean that every moment of every day feels amazing. No? Like you will feel joy and delight in a deeper way than you ever have before. It's true. You might feel all your emotions more enhanced. It's hard to say because it depends on how you feel your emotions right now. Some people shut down, they suppress what they feel. They don't even know what they're feeling. Other people feel certain emotions vary intensely, very strongly, like rage or anger, but they don't feel the joy and the delight, and I'm just throwing out a few examples. There's a plethora of emotions. But also you're going to notice you feel less frustration because if you're showing up as your authentic self, you are less frustrated because sometimes internal frustration. Is a byproduct of not being true to ourselves, not honoring our needs, not having boundaries and we just we say yes to things we don't want to. We show up to things that we don't even want to be at. We live our life working a job we hate. It doesn't have to be that way. And maybe this sounds too good to be true. I don't know, but I'm living it out, so it's really easy for me to talk about it as if it's possible because I've experienced it. And a lot of times what we experience we believe is truth, which goes both ways. And again. I'm going to emphasize I'm not the only one experiencing this. I see the clients I work with start to experience these things and I just had someone reach out to me this morning. I was so, so happy that she shared with me that she has gotten more comfortable with listening to her body exercising when it feels good. Exercising more gently, and not controlling the amount of food that she eats in the way she used to. Not measuring all the food. Like still eating nourishing foods. But just doing things in a way that sounds more compassionate towards her body, more gentle, more kind. I'm so, so proud of her because this is a byproduct of all the other inner work she's been doing.

She already experienced lots of other results relating to other things, but now this is a new area where she's feeling the effect, experiencing the effect of the inner work she's done and this is just happening over time. Again, that's why I said things are changing even when you might not think they are. They're changing. You are changing. If you're on the healing journey, you're doing the intentional work. You're showing up for yourself and you're willing to look deeper within yourself. And you're not turning a blind eye to things like that will get you results. That's all that's needed.

So what else can you expect? On the healing journey as a benefit to being on the healing journey, your relationships are going to improve. Of course, they will, right? Like you're gonna have boundaries. You're gonna show up the way you want to. You're going to be able to express yourself and regulate your emotions. So if you have a heated conversation with somebody, you won't have to run away from it necessarily. You could take a break, but then you come back to wrap it up. You won't have to shut down. You can say what you're thinking, Say what's on your heart and mind. You're going to be able to also feel more settled, more regulated as you're doing these things. Yeah, you still might shake, but if you're saying what you want to say, you're able to stay present, not dissociate. You're engaged with the other person. That's better. That's still better even if your body shaking cause it's feeling the intensity of showing up in this new way in a way that feels risky and scary and in a way that's different than how you used to show up. Your body's just responding to that. Over time, even that gets easier. You'll notice, Ohh, my heart's not racing, I'm not shaking. I'm able to say what I think, and how I'm feeling, in a very regulated way and it's OK to be dysregulated. The goal isn't to always be calm. And I don't think of regulation as calm. I usually think of it as just. Feeling like we're in control of what we're feeling. That other people aren't running the show. That our emotions aren't running the show. That we are, that we're choosing into these things, but being dysregulated, it's a part of, it's a part of life. It's when you live in that dysregulated place all the time, that sucks, that's hard.

That's what I want to help you like get out of because I know. I know how that is. That's a rough way to have to live. You were happy and then all of a sudden you became super depressed and you shut down and you didn't want to do anything. You didn't want to go anywhere. You changed your plans. One example like Ohh, that's hard, all right, let's see, what else can you do? And my list is not exhaustive, exhaustive of what you can expect on the healing journey. No way. There's just, these are just a few things that quickly came to my mind when I think about what are the perks, What are the benefits of doing this inner work, and this deliberate, intentional, difficult sometimes, inner work.

You're gonna enjoy life more. You're gonna learn that it's OK to be childlike and to be playful and to have fun. You're going to rest more. Going to sleep more, because you're gonna learn to take care of your body and yourself, and you're gonna rest more. There are just going to be times in your day that are slower. Your schedule is going to be less. These things, they become a byproduct of healing. And it enhances living. It changes your perspective on life. It changes how you feel within your days. It changes the way you interact with people.

So I would love to hear from you. I'd love to hear what? Perks. What benefits, benefits you've experienced as you've been on your healing journey? Or if you haven't started yet, what are the ones that you want to experience? Maybe some I've said some you've heard from other people or things that you just feel deep within you that you're like, you know what? If I'm going on the healing journey, this is one of the things that I want to shift and change. Having these goals. The vision for why you're doing the difficult work, because sometimes it feels difficult and I don't think it always feels difficult for some people and some personalities it always feels difficult. But, having a reason why you're going to do it helps makes it easier. Makes it better.

So let's connect and share with me. What your takeaways are from this? Because, you know, I'm not just here talking to blab on and on. I'm here because I like connecting with you, so I'd love to hear back from you. And until next week, remember.

I am so glad, so glad that you're alive.

[Ending] We've come to the end of another episode, and I'm so glad you were here with us. I hope that you'll consider what you heard today and start to put into practice something that resonated with you.

Meet us here next week, and between now and then, please share the episode with a friend.

Remember who you are is good, and I'm so glad that you're alive.