[Intro] Hello, and welcome to my podcast, Empowered to Thrive. I'm your host, Corinne Powell, and I'm the owner of Change Radically.

In this space, we'll talk all things inner wellness, and parenting will certainly come up too, because I'm a mom to four kids, so parenting is a huge part of my life.

This space is designed for safety. Your inner child is welcome. Your past self is invited to listen as well. And no matter what type of day you're having, I want you to know I'm glad to be with you.

I live out of vulnerability and transparency, so come and be. Be yourself. Be messy. Invite a friend, and please stay a while.

Keep coming back. I want you around. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

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Corinne Powell: I'm so glad to have you here with me today and I'm really excited for the guest that's on with me today. My daughter,  Laella is also here. Hi, Laella. 

Ella Powell: Hi. 

Corinne Powell: And she gets to be here. She was not feeling well enough to go to school and I said, hey, do you wanna record an episode with me on the podcast? And she's always down for that. She's very excited to do that. Right, Ella? 

Ella Powell:  Yeah.

Corinne Powell: So Ella and I are gonna talk about what it is to live in family and the challenges and the joys of that. And for those of you that have children or for those of you that are a child in a family, I hope that you'll feel understood today. I hope that you'll feel the invitation to have this sort of conversation with the people closest to you as well. We all deserve to get to talk about how it is for us living our life, how it is for us, managing our emotions throughout our days. This is not an easy thing to do. 

Feeling emotions and the sensations that they produce in our body can be really uncomfortable if we're not familiar with it, if we're not invited to sit with it, to feel it, to move through it. So let's start off by hearing you share, Ella a few things that you love to do. 

Ella Powell: Gymnastics. 

Corinne Powell: Oh yes, she's a fabulous gymnast. 

Ella Powell: And art.

Corinne Powell: Is there a certain form of art you especially enjoy? 

Ella Powell: Like sketching. 

Corinne Powell: Okay. 

Ella Powell: And I love dancing. Sometimes I do a little bit of ballet.

Corinne Powell: Mm-hmm. 

Ella Powell: Yeah, like that stuff. 

Corinne Powell: Yes, you are definitely an artist at heart and you love all the things. So, all right, let's dive into some conversation about what it's like for you, Ella, living in family, having siblings. If you wanna tell everyone listening, where you fall in, like where are you at in the lineup of your siblings? 

Ella Powell: I'm the third child. And I'm eight. 

Corinne Powell: And you were the baby for seven years, and then we had another baby. So now you're the third child of four, right? You have the same place as me. I'm the third child. I'm the third child of six, but I'm still the third child, and daddy's the third child in his family. So how is it for you being a sibling, having an older sister, having an older brother, having a younger sister, what is that like for you every day? 

Ella Powell: Well it's sometimes really hard because sometimes Asher, Vivi or Brielle, like sometimes Brielle gets me annoyed and sometimes Asher is like being mean sometimes Vivi sometimes Vivi being mean and annoying but um yeah and sometimes I get frustrated with you or dad like because like sometimes it feels like I don't I don't know like like, feels like you guys are listening to me. 

Corinne Powell: Feels like we're not listening, yeah. It can be really hard, really hard to have to live with people you didn't choose to live with and try to work through conflicts. And what are the wonderful things about it? There's some challenges you talk about and what's wonderful? 

Ella Powell: That, like, if I didn't have siblings, brother or sister, I would be bored. Like, I wouldn't have anybody to play with because I have, like some friends where they want a sibling and a brother, like, cause like, they're always like bored and they have nobody to play with. And like some of my friends like, like their parents can't play with them either. It's like, so it's just them. They're just like doing something by their selves. Yeah. And like, yeah. 

Corinne Powell: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yes. And I think it's similar to when I think about something like being married or living with a partner. There's challenges because I have to relate with that person, daddy, but there's also the joys of it. So there's a trade and I really love that you're able to see it from both perspectives. You recognize it's difficult, it's hard. You also recognize the wonderful things about it and how do you feel like that can be helpful when we see things from a couple different perspectives? How does that help? 

Ella Powell: Well, so it helps to like know it, like it helps to know like, like if like, like I said, like sometimes it would be hard to because like I get really mad and sometimes I feel like I do not want brother and sister but then I look at another person if I didn't have a brother like a brother or a sister then I would be alone and like I would be bored.

Corinne Powell: Yeah all right, and then thinking about your days at home, what are some of the ways that you feel supported and loved by your family, by us at home? 

Ella Powell: Well, like, I feel supported and loved. Well, like, sometimes I'm really frustrated and I feel like I really wanna hurt like somebody and my dad says like, Ella, do you need a hug? And do you need me to talk with you like through this? And it's really like, like it really helps like to have like some company and stuff so like that I could calm down. Like, like, like calm down before I calm down so that I don't have to hurt like them. 

Corinne Powell: Yes, because you feel those emotions in your body through the sensations and you want to be able to discharge that energy, right? So then you wanna hurt somebody because you feel it in your body and you wanna be able to release it. 

So when daddy's offering you a hug, that's another form of being able to release the energy you're feeling, right? You can give him a tight squeeze. Yeah. And you know that he is gonna be okay with that, which is really special because sometimes when we don't feel safe, when we don't have somebody offering us support, it can be very, very hard to feel those big emotions and to feel them in our body.

So what about some of the ways that you feel? How would you, what would you say to somebody if they're feeling dysregulated and they're not sure what to do with the feelings that feel so big to them, feel so overwhelming, they just wanna get away from how they feel in their body? What would you say? How could they help themselves in that moment?

Ella Powell: They could take some deep breaths and think of like some different kinds of deep breaths or sing a song that like that sometimes helps them calm down. Sometimes like I think of different breaths like a ukulele breath.

Corinne Powell: Oh, you're making the motion of the ukulele like as if you're strumming it when you take that breath.

Ella Powell: Yeah, or like a bird breath

Corinne Powell: Oh, you're raising your hands up and down for everyone who can't see you. Uh-huh. And you're breathing through that. 

Ella Powell: Yeah. It's a bird breath. And sometimes like I think of like, I've got peace like a river. 

Corinne Powell: Okay.

Ella Powell: And sometimes I sing that song and it calms me down. 

Corinne Powell: Mm-hmm. Do you want to sing it for us right now? 

Ella Powell: Oh, sure. 🎵 I got peace like a river,  I got peace like a river,  I got peace like a river in my soul. I've got peace like a river, I've got peace like a river, I've got peace like a river in my soul.🎵 

Corinne Powell: That's beautiful. Oh, you want to sing it in Spanish? Go for it.

Ella Powell: 🎵 Tengo paz como un río, tengo paz como un río, tengo paz como un río en mi alma. Tengo paz como un río, tengo paz como un río, tengo paz como un río en mi alma.🎵 

Corinne Powell: Love it. Thank you. 

Ella Powell: Welcome

Corinne Powell: For all of us listening, let's reflect. How do we feel in this moment? Do you notice a shift in the energy as we listen to Ella sing? Perhaps we fully engaged with it. I know for myself, I felt that shift. I felt me settling more into my core and almost remembering that the stresses of today don't have to control my focus. 

I can settle in to the piece that is available. I can create a sense of regulation in my body by doing some of the techniques that Ella suggested or other things that she didn't suggest. Sometimes moving our bodies, whether that's through dancing or shaking or taking a brisk walk.

If you can't get outside, just even pacing inside. Sometimes those are ways to move through the energy that's trapped, that needs to be discharged, taking deep breaths, humming or singing. Definitely Ella, beautiful ways to create a sense of regulation. There are times we feel internally frustrated. We feel an injustice. We feel unheard or misunderstood and we're gonna need to scream. There are times I'll do this. (vocalizes) 

It's a way of releasing my frustration through a vocal tone that actually connects with my internal feelings of frustration. And sometimes I do that in the middle of the chaos with my family, because it actually doesn't sound the same as me shouting or yelling, but I feel the release as if I were able to shout or yell. And it's not to say I can't shout or yell. I just understand that sometimes that can be a disruptive trigger for even myself because I was familiar with that growing up or for other people. 

And I truly don't wanna model this idea that shouting and yelling has to be a thing of every day. I think it is a thing sometimes, but I don't think it should have to be a thing of every day. And so Ella, I love, thank you for bringing up these ways that we can create a sense of regulation and calm within ourselves. Is there anything else that you find is helpful to you when you're feeling frustrated, when you're feeling misunderstood, when you just like, you're just needing a break, you're needing to have some space for yourself? 

Maybe you can't get that space in that moment. What do you do to help yourself?

Ella Powell: Um, well, like sometimes like I get really frustrated and stuff. Um, so I go into the living room and just start doing gymnastics and stuff. 

Corinne Powell: Oh yeah. 

Ella Powell: And, um, and like sometimes, um, like I walk upstairs cause it's really frustrating. Like I feel like nobody hears me. I just walk upstairs and, um like just slay my bed and like take deep breaths or something like that and like have some space like sometimes when I like really frustrated and I stay there like just stay there it just gets even more harder and harder so like sometimes I need like space away and like just like that just do that.

Corinne Powell: Great points. You're noticing when you need space away and you're offering that to yourself. Or you're going to another room like the living room to do gymnastics, which is a way to move your body, to move the energy you're feeling through your body so it can be discharged. Very, very practical. You're just listening to your body and doing what it's asking of you. Great job. That's what we can all become more mindful of is what is our body communicating to us? What do we need to do?

What feels like the next right thing? And we learn as we go. If you have a tendency that you're like, well this is what I feel is my go-to, but I don't think it's actually helpful to me, I don't think it's good for me. Well then over time you can change that pattern. But there are some natural ways. Sometimes we feel this need to step outside. We feel a need to move, to walk. It's noticing those and listening and responding.

And we can change our patterns through actually noticing what's below my go-to, what's deeper. So Ella, before we wrap up, is there anything else you wanted to share? Is there a tip you would give somebody on how they might be able to work through a disagreement that they have with a family member? 

Ella Powell: Tip? You can work through. Well...as I was saying, like. No. 

Corinne Powell: No tip? Okay, that's totally fine. Do you have anything else you wanted to say before we wrap up?

Ella Powell: No. 

Corinne Powell: Thank you so much, Ella. I appreciate you just expressing yourself, telling us transparently how it is for you. You have helped us to understand ways that we can support ourselves. And I hope that all of us listening will take into, like take to heart what Ella has shared because there's some really great tips here, some really practical ways we can come alongside ourselves and support ourselves. And remember, being in family is difficult and it's messy and it's beautiful as well. 

There are the gifts in it, and if we just start to look and notice them, there will be moments when we won't have to simply feel our frustration, but we can also feel the gratitude. We can hold two feelings at the same time, that it's difficult relating with this person, and I'm grateful I have them, and for whatever reasons that might be for you.

So I leave you with that as we wrap up. I hope that you will invite the younger people in your life, whether you have kids of your own or family members, invite them, listen to this conversation together, allow it to be a springboard for you to have your own conversations. And that's how we create depth, that's how we create connection, by hearing someone, by empathizing with them, truly listening and feeling about their experience, and then utilizing it to help propel more connection and more understanding in the relationship. 

So until next week, I wish you all the best, and I hope that you will stop back here next week and listen to what we have coming your way. Thanks, Ella. Thank you for being with us. 

Ella Powell: You're welcome.

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[Advertaisment] One more thing before we close out today's episode. I have a resource I've designed for you and the children in your life to create a deeper connection between each other and also to help you and them understand more themselves, their body, and how to become emotionally regulated. 

It's a workbook, Emotional Support for Kids and their Grown-ups, and it has journal prompts and activities and great information contained within it. And I hope that you'll check it out. You can go to my website changeradically/shop to find that resource. It's on sale right now, only $10 to pick up a downloadable, printable copy of it.

And if you'd like, you can also link through the show notes for that resource. 

[Ending] Well, we've come to the end of another episode. Sit back and reflect about what you heard. What’s the one thing you can resonate with you that you can take away and do something with? 

Let’s not just listen, let’s listen and take action. Now, action may look very different for us but it’s doing something with what we hear. I hope that you will share today’s episode with a friend you think would also enjoy it and please come back next week. 

I hope that you have a fabulous week and that you remember when you pillow your head at night, when you are going through your days, that who you are is good and I am so glad that you're alive.